I read something in my devotional that hit home and I wanted to share it. This is from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, it's written as Jesus speaking:
"Do not search for security in the world you inhabit. You tend to make mental checklists of things you need to do in order to gain control of your life. If only you could check everything off your list, you could relax and be at peace. But the more you work to accomplish that goal, the more things crop up on your list. The harder you try, the more frustrated you become. There is a better way to find security in this life. Instead of scrutinizing your checklist, focus your attention on My Presence with you. This continual contact with Me will keep you in My Peace. Moreover, I will help you sort out what is important and what is not, what needs to be done now and what does not. Fix you eyes not on what is seen (your circumstances), but on what is unseen (My Presence)."
From: Isaiah 26:3 and Corinthians 4:18
I'll try. This is so, so hard to do. To gain control, let go. That seems so foreign to do.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Happy Mother's Day!
First of all, I'm sitting at Biggby coffee with Kylie. She is watching My Little Pony on YouTube, the newer version that you can find on cable. It keeps her busy and she loves the whipped cream with sprinkles she can get here. I'm on another computer and I thought I'd use Google Chrome for once, so I get it set up to my page including my gmail. I thought it would be pretty easy to also add my blog as a widget. Think again. I couldn't find it quickly when I looked at the widgets so I said "forget it" and just went and searched for it in the search bar. It took me 10 minutes to find my own blog! I'm guessing because I don't write much and people have stopped checking in because I don't write much. I'm hoping soon we'll have the Internet working at the house again. Hey, it's been about a year, it's time.
I actually did write a list of topics I can write about so that way I'm not sitting here going "uhhh, I don't have anything to say," or "I forgot what I was going to say." Now I just don't know if I should space this out over a couple of blogs or write one big huge one. I'll probably space it out because I'll run out of time. Good thing there's like a hundred My Little Pony episodes : ) Kylie find something else to watch if she goes through all the MLP.
On May 1, I took Kylie to Kindergarten Roundup at St. Thomas. We are excited to send her to this school, it's our Parish's school and they do such a wonderful job with the children. At some point, I want to talk with the teachers and principle about Chloe and Faith and that Kylie will mention Faith sometimes. She does at home so I'm thinking she might outside of home too. I want her to hear from other people that Faith is with Jesus in the most beautiful place you can't even imagine.
The Roundup we went to was in the afternoon which worked better for me. I took a half day off, picked up Kylie and told her that if she would let me leave her in the Kindergarten room with all her new friends, we would go to Spoonlickers for ice cream (it's really frozen yogurt). When we arrived at school, Kylie had a death grip on my arm and didn't want me to leave. I stayed with her for 30 minutes. We had gone to see the Enrichment teachers office. Kindergarten is only half day, 5 days a week. Three days a week Kylie will be with the Enrichment teacher until school ends. On those days she'll eat in the cafeteria with the older kids. Fun! Fun! After going back to the classroom, I reminded Kylie of our deal with ice cream. She pushed me out the door. I guess I shouldn't worry so much about her making friends. I think I was awful at making friends when I was little and I don't want her to experience what I did. A little insight to my childhood - 3rd grade my "best friend" told me on days when we had to play inside she would play with me, otherwise when we were outside, she didn't want anything to do with me. That might not be how it really was, but that's what I remember.
The principle was serving coffee and cookies in the lounge so I went to visit her and some of the parents. It was nice, except these parents will have their children in the afternoon class whereas Kylie is in the morning class. It was a good time, except the tooth pain I was experiencing. Before long, Roundup was done and I picked her up. I told her we would go to Spoonlickers and then to the long park (called so because it's a longer walk from our house, unlike the short park which is only 2.5 blocks away).
I love ice cream so I treated myself as well. Spoonlickers is kind of expensive but it's understandable as they use organic all or most of the time. Big mistake for me having ice cream. I was in excruciating pain. I had called the dentist earlier in the day but they couldn't fit me in until the following Wednesday. I was going to Traverse City that weekend and I didn't want to have this pain, so I called the dentist back and they told me to come in right away if it hurt. I took Kylie and she sat my lap watching SpongeBob while I had a root canal. I was glad to have it done because my tooth didn't hurt anymore.
That's all I'll post in this post. I will do another one shortly (hopefully, I was having connectivity issues a minute ago).
I actually did write a list of topics I can write about so that way I'm not sitting here going "uhhh, I don't have anything to say," or "I forgot what I was going to say." Now I just don't know if I should space this out over a couple of blogs or write one big huge one. I'll probably space it out because I'll run out of time. Good thing there's like a hundred My Little Pony episodes : ) Kylie find something else to watch if she goes through all the MLP.
On May 1, I took Kylie to Kindergarten Roundup at St. Thomas. We are excited to send her to this school, it's our Parish's school and they do such a wonderful job with the children. At some point, I want to talk with the teachers and principle about Chloe and Faith and that Kylie will mention Faith sometimes. She does at home so I'm thinking she might outside of home too. I want her to hear from other people that Faith is with Jesus in the most beautiful place you can't even imagine.
The Roundup we went to was in the afternoon which worked better for me. I took a half day off, picked up Kylie and told her that if she would let me leave her in the Kindergarten room with all her new friends, we would go to Spoonlickers for ice cream (it's really frozen yogurt). When we arrived at school, Kylie had a death grip on my arm and didn't want me to leave. I stayed with her for 30 minutes. We had gone to see the Enrichment teachers office. Kindergarten is only half day, 5 days a week. Three days a week Kylie will be with the Enrichment teacher until school ends. On those days she'll eat in the cafeteria with the older kids. Fun! Fun! After going back to the classroom, I reminded Kylie of our deal with ice cream. She pushed me out the door. I guess I shouldn't worry so much about her making friends. I think I was awful at making friends when I was little and I don't want her to experience what I did. A little insight to my childhood - 3rd grade my "best friend" told me on days when we had to play inside she would play with me, otherwise when we were outside, she didn't want anything to do with me. That might not be how it really was, but that's what I remember.
The principle was serving coffee and cookies in the lounge so I went to visit her and some of the parents. It was nice, except these parents will have their children in the afternoon class whereas Kylie is in the morning class. It was a good time, except the tooth pain I was experiencing. Before long, Roundup was done and I picked her up. I told her we would go to Spoonlickers and then to the long park (called so because it's a longer walk from our house, unlike the short park which is only 2.5 blocks away).
I love ice cream so I treated myself as well. Spoonlickers is kind of expensive but it's understandable as they use organic all or most of the time. Big mistake for me having ice cream. I was in excruciating pain. I had called the dentist earlier in the day but they couldn't fit me in until the following Wednesday. I was going to Traverse City that weekend and I didn't want to have this pain, so I called the dentist back and they told me to come in right away if it hurt. I took Kylie and she sat my lap watching SpongeBob while I had a root canal. I was glad to have it done because my tooth didn't hurt anymore.
That's all I'll post in this post. I will do another one shortly (hopefully, I was having connectivity issues a minute ago).
Friday, April 19, 2013
It's my birthday today
Today is my birthday. I have not done anything special yet as it's still morning, but doing nothing at all is a luxury. Not for long though because then I start to think about what needs to be done. At least I can thank the city for the "don't do laundry or run the dishwasher for a few days." The river is threatening to flood the waste water treatment plant, which if that happens, bad things occur like having to boil water before drinking. I think we should have gone and visited my family this weekend : ) I'm not sure if I'd want to be gone though, what if water gets in our basement? It hasn't, yet but what a mess! It's been so rainy lately, and cold. I like a quote I saw on Facebook, "Last year we prayed for rain, well God does answer prayers, just not on our timing but his." Too true.
I feel I have lots to say, but can't think of anything right now!
I know later today, my family is getting our picture taken for the church pictorial book and then we'll go out for dinner. Kylie is super excited, she wants to go to Houlihan's and get the corndog with strawberries like she had when I took her and my sister there a couple of weeks ago. Plus she got ice cream with the meal. I don't know how busy they are on a Friday night but I will call ahead and get a reservation so hopefully not too bad.
Maybe later I'll remember what I was going to post.
I feel I have lots to say, but can't think of anything right now!
I know later today, my family is getting our picture taken for the church pictorial book and then we'll go out for dinner. Kylie is super excited, she wants to go to Houlihan's and get the corndog with strawberries like she had when I took her and my sister there a couple of weeks ago. Plus she got ice cream with the meal. I don't know how busy they are on a Friday night but I will call ahead and get a reservation so hopefully not too bad.
Maybe later I'll remember what I was going to post.
March 2013 pictures
Monday, March 4, 2013
Pictures - End of the Year to Kylie's Birthday
Faith's Day and Other Happenings
It's been 2 years since Faith went to Heaven. Feels longer than that. I took the day off of work because I didn't know how I would do with today. I'm doing pretty good. I've kept myself really busy though. I moved 4 totes of clothes out of the basement to put with Chloe's things. I kind of wish I had been more methodological when I packed away Kylie's clothes, but I wasn't so now I'm finding clothes that say 2T in the 3T tub because Kylie was able to wear them longer. That's why I decided just to bring everything out of the basement. I did have some moments when I saw clothes that Kylie wore to the hospital to come visit me. To think of Kylie as being 3 doesn't seem that long ago.
I did do something today that I only thought about doing last night. I got my hair cut, 3 inches off. I didn't voice this to too many people but the last time I really had a haircut was March 7, 2011, the day before Faith's funeral. I had a really hard time after that cutting it, I can't explain why. I was half kidding, half not when I told some people that I wasn't cutting it until our house/kitchen was done. I've had my hair trimmed but never cut. I felt like I could do it today as a sign that I am OK. I am so very thankful to God for what I have and who my family is and so very thankful I believe in Him. This world would be a very dark place for me if I didn't have Him. I'm doing the devotional "Jesus Calling" and every day I read to ask Jesus to be with me. I've heard this a lot in church too, make perfect sense so I try to remember to say it as often as I can.
As for other happenings, Chloe is doing good. So does have a cough but hopefully we can keep it until control. We give her a nebulizer treatment everyday to help keep her airways open. We are debating whether she should have the last RSV shots this month. The doctor said to check who's sick a day care and if the season in Michigan has slowed down and then make a decision. So that's what we will do. It's weird, these bills for the pharmacy don't seem to make it to us in a timely manner. They always call me to say they need a payment before they can ship the shots. Last month someone finally made me aware of a assistance program we would be eligible for if Chloe didn't have secondary insurance, she doesn't right now. If this was last year when she should have had the shots, she would have the medicaid and that's probably why no one mentioned this assistance before. All I had to do was call a different department within this pharmacy (OptumRx) and answer some questions. We qualified for a $2000 debit card to use toward the bills. Well, that got used up in one second as our balance was a little over $4,000. Good thing we have an HSA to pay the rest. That was just the November to January bills. I haven't seen Feb yet and that's why we need to decide about March shots. I believe the price went up a bit because of Chloe's weight, that's what the nurse said, the dosage changed.
Birthdays birthdays birthdays. That's what else has been going on. Chloe turned 2 on January 22 and Kylie turned 5 on February 21. I think I talked about Chloe's party as a "Dress up" theme and food. Kylie, I was thinking mermaid but I wanted substaintal food, not snacks. I ended up with more of a rainbow theme. Rainbow Barbie cake, skittles, M&M's, and Kisses layered like rainbows in different glass vases. As for food, I didn't really have a theme. Maybe "kid food" fish and chicken strips, french fries and carrot fries, and mac and cheese made with squash. I wanted to be healthy as well, since there was candy on the table. I am very fond of the cake I made, it came out great. I took white cake mix, separated into 7 bowls and mixed in 7 different food colors, then dumped them all in the Barbie cake pan. Then I used the mix in frosting and had 4 different flavors, mint chocolate, strawberry shortcake, cotton candy, and white chocolate raspberry. Delicious! Oh - And I had rainbow Jell-O, Chloe loved it! I have to make more. That seems to be the only way I really eat Jell-O anyway. I think it's fun to make.
I'm going to try to post pictures. After I publish this.
I did do something today that I only thought about doing last night. I got my hair cut, 3 inches off. I didn't voice this to too many people but the last time I really had a haircut was March 7, 2011, the day before Faith's funeral. I had a really hard time after that cutting it, I can't explain why. I was half kidding, half not when I told some people that I wasn't cutting it until our house/kitchen was done. I've had my hair trimmed but never cut. I felt like I could do it today as a sign that I am OK. I am so very thankful to God for what I have and who my family is and so very thankful I believe in Him. This world would be a very dark place for me if I didn't have Him. I'm doing the devotional "Jesus Calling" and every day I read to ask Jesus to be with me. I've heard this a lot in church too, make perfect sense so I try to remember to say it as often as I can.
As for other happenings, Chloe is doing good. So does have a cough but hopefully we can keep it until control. We give her a nebulizer treatment everyday to help keep her airways open. We are debating whether she should have the last RSV shots this month. The doctor said to check who's sick a day care and if the season in Michigan has slowed down and then make a decision. So that's what we will do. It's weird, these bills for the pharmacy don't seem to make it to us in a timely manner. They always call me to say they need a payment before they can ship the shots. Last month someone finally made me aware of a assistance program we would be eligible for if Chloe didn't have secondary insurance, she doesn't right now. If this was last year when she should have had the shots, she would have the medicaid and that's probably why no one mentioned this assistance before. All I had to do was call a different department within this pharmacy (OptumRx) and answer some questions. We qualified for a $2000 debit card to use toward the bills. Well, that got used up in one second as our balance was a little over $4,000. Good thing we have an HSA to pay the rest. That was just the November to January bills. I haven't seen Feb yet and that's why we need to decide about March shots. I believe the price went up a bit because of Chloe's weight, that's what the nurse said, the dosage changed.
Birthdays birthdays birthdays. That's what else has been going on. Chloe turned 2 on January 22 and Kylie turned 5 on February 21. I think I talked about Chloe's party as a "Dress up" theme and food. Kylie, I was thinking mermaid but I wanted substaintal food, not snacks. I ended up with more of a rainbow theme. Rainbow Barbie cake, skittles, M&M's, and Kisses layered like rainbows in different glass vases. As for food, I didn't really have a theme. Maybe "kid food" fish and chicken strips, french fries and carrot fries, and mac and cheese made with squash. I wanted to be healthy as well, since there was candy on the table. I am very fond of the cake I made, it came out great. I took white cake mix, separated into 7 bowls and mixed in 7 different food colors, then dumped them all in the Barbie cake pan. Then I used the mix in frosting and had 4 different flavors, mint chocolate, strawberry shortcake, cotton candy, and white chocolate raspberry. Delicious! Oh - And I had rainbow Jell-O, Chloe loved it! I have to make more. That seems to be the only way I really eat Jell-O anyway. I think it's fun to make.
I'm going to try to post pictures. After I publish this.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Prayers Needed
I wish I was just writing about the birthday celebration we had for Chloe, but I'm not. What's on the forefront of my mind is Chloe being sick. She's had a fever last week and on Saturday and then she has a cough, but now it seems she barely has a voice. Poor girl, we're afraid this is turning into RSV - which just means a cold that she can't handle well by herself. Luckily we have some arbuterol from last year (I thought we didn't but we did). It helps open the airways so we started giving that to her. I'm calling the doctor in the morning. Chloe just had her 2 year appointment on Friday and the doctor mentioned not liking the sound of her lungs, but Chloe wasn't cooperating well as she knows that room is the "bad" room where she gets her shots. She just had the last sets of RSV shots on the 18th. These don't prevent RSV, it's suppose to help fight it so she doesn't end up in the hospital. Grrr, sometimes I feel like a hamster on a wheel. Round and round, same thing as before. I trust God and his plan, but I hope we are not being negligent somehow - not taking her to the ER or something along those lines. At least, Joel pointed out, she is still acting like herself, wanting to play. We are watching what she eats because it does seem her appetite has decreased. We are pumping her full of fluids, though. I even got some Pedialyte. She missed her party on Saturday. She was so cranky at the start of it that we put her to bed and she didn't wake up at all (except when I woke her to change her diaper and put her into pj's).
I wanted to talk to about how she is almost 30 pounds and is 33.5 inches long. That her party was a "Dress Up" party. I got the idea Thursday night. She likes dressing up, so that was the focus. We put out the dress up stuff and Kylie and her (they were the only kids except a 6 month old) dressed up. Then we had "dress you salad" and "dress your dog" with some other food as well. It went really well, except Chloe wasn't there. She opened her gifts today. Kylie wants the Dora costume and swim doll that Chloe got. Oh boy. Great time to learn lessons in sharing and you can't always have what others have.
I also wanted to post pictures. Someday.
The main focus is just making sure we are attentive to Chloe.
I wanted to talk to about how she is almost 30 pounds and is 33.5 inches long. That her party was a "Dress Up" party. I got the idea Thursday night. She likes dressing up, so that was the focus. We put out the dress up stuff and Kylie and her (they were the only kids except a 6 month old) dressed up. Then we had "dress you salad" and "dress your dog" with some other food as well. It went really well, except Chloe wasn't there. She opened her gifts today. Kylie wants the Dora costume and swim doll that Chloe got. Oh boy. Great time to learn lessons in sharing and you can't always have what others have.
I also wanted to post pictures. Someday.
The main focus is just making sure we are attentive to Chloe.
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