Wow! I thought the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas was fairly long, it was an extra week compared to other years, but I can't believe it's come and gone already! I'm glad I was wrapping presents when I did. I thought I was a bit early on the wrapping but it turns out that it was perfect because closer to Christmas I had no time. We got the girls small trees on sale after last Christmas that never did get finished decorating them. Kylie's tree is pink and Chloe's is purple. Of course we let Kylie pick the color first, not sure what will happen next year if Chloe's favorite color is pink. I might have to change the name of this blog to "Sisters Fighting" They do it already, Kylie will get in Chloe's face and smile and be nice, but Chloe likes her personal space and will yell out. Joel penned this move as "pterodactyl." We'll say "Why are you pterodactyl, Chloe? Kylie, she does that because she doesn't want you in her face."
I got our Christmas tree up 2 weeks before Christmas, but I haven't really had time to enjoy it. It's in our downstairs so the mischievous Chloe won't try to take all the ornaments off the bottom. We had it there last year too and I would have time to sit by it and read or just enjoy it. This year it's my own fault for not doing that more. I've had other things on my mind. Plus I was trying to find something for Christmas stockings that I never found. Last year in Target I found Lindt chocolate angels. I put them in the stockings as a gift from Faith. I wanted to do that this year but I couldn't find any. There were plenty of santas and bears, but no angels. Maybe they didn't make them this year.
I'm not really into writing right now. Maybe later I will fill in the presents the girls received. I'll see. My mind is trying to multitask and that doesn't work well when trying to write a blog.
Happy New Year! In case I don't write for awhile.
Oh - Chloe had the second RSV shot on Dec 20. I haven't seen the bill for the first one yet, can't wait. I think I'll only have to pay a little of it and then I reached the $5000 max on my health insurance and they'll pay the rest. Too bad she has to get shots in January, February and March : ( Won't take long to meet that deductible. Actually, I pay the first $2500, then I pay 20% until I reach $5000.) Hopefully after the winter we can all stay healthy and out of the hospital!
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Just a quick update. Chloe did get the RSV shot, which in reading the paperwork, doesn't prevent her from getting RSV (not a vaccine). It can help lessen it so if she does get it, hopefully she won't be hospitalized.
All else is well. I'll try to post later, right now I just wanted to put this petition up. It's for closer monitoring of twin pregnancies. We were lucky, once we found out that I was monitored closely, other women are not so lucky. I don't dwell on this but what could have helped Chloe and Faith was to be diagnosed earlier than I was. There was a couple opportunities but I don't want to get into that because we can't change the past, only the future.
<a href="http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/identical-twin-safety-initiative.html">Identical Twin Safety Initiative Petition | GoPetition</a>
All else is well. I'll try to post later, right now I just wanted to put this petition up. It's for closer monitoring of twin pregnancies. We were lucky, once we found out that I was monitored closely, other women are not so lucky. I don't dwell on this but what could have helped Chloe and Faith was to be diagnosed earlier than I was. There was a couple opportunities but I don't want to get into that because we can't change the past, only the future.
<a href="http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/identical-twin-safety-initiative.html">Identical Twin Safety Initiative Petition | GoPetition</a>
Friday, November 16, 2012
Banging My Head Against the Wall
"You have got to be kidding me." I told the nurse at the doctor's office this morning when I brought Chloe in for her RSV shot. They didn't have the vaccine. I called the pharmacy on Tuesday to make sure it would be there, they had said something about giving consent in October but I had heard nothing so I called. I gave consent the representative said that they can release it to the doctor's office and it should be there by Friday. It wasn't so the office was going to call and I called as well. Somehow I missed on Tuesday that the doctor's office needed to call and work out the delivery schedule, that's why they didn't ship it. I guess it obviously wasn't clear when I said "Her appointment is on Friday, the vaccine will be there?" The answer was "yes, we ship overnight." So maybe she will get it on Monday or Tuesday.
I was getting a little irritated and I told the representative today that Chloe's suppose to have these shots November through March and I'm getting concerned we're halfway through November. Will they still be effective if she misses the first one? I also a little worried she'll get RSV before she receives the shot.
I put my trust in Jesus, it will work out.
This morning Chloe used her little potty!! The only thing is she was holding her washcloth (for her bath) between her legs to catch the pee. ??? My only thought is she thinks that's how it works and doesn't understand yet we go, then we wipe. Not wipe as we go. I gave her praise for going. Hey, washcloths are cheaper to wash than buying a pack of diapers. Chloe is also saying 'yes' and 'no' instead of always nodding her head.
I love my family. : ) We've been through a lot, but I can truly see the blessings we have.
Chloe had her adjusted age 18 month assessment on Monday. It went great! She didn't get referred to any services and she doesn't have to come back for an adjusted 2 year assessment!! I think she really showed up the physical therapy folks. She was running, trying to jump, kicking and rolling a ball, doing her yoga ball (she lays her belly on the ball with hands on the floor and balances quite well). Her range of age is 18 months (because she only has 20 words which is 18 month old) to 23 months (she understands tons). She is short for 21 months (her real age) at 2 feet 7.75 inches, it's the 13th percentile. She weighs 28 pounds and that's the 87th percentile. The doctor said she doesn't need to adjust to 18 months because she is big, fine by me.
I was getting a little irritated and I told the representative today that Chloe's suppose to have these shots November through March and I'm getting concerned we're halfway through November. Will they still be effective if she misses the first one? I also a little worried she'll get RSV before she receives the shot.
I put my trust in Jesus, it will work out.
This morning Chloe used her little potty!! The only thing is she was holding her washcloth (for her bath) between her legs to catch the pee. ??? My only thought is she thinks that's how it works and doesn't understand yet we go, then we wipe. Not wipe as we go. I gave her praise for going. Hey, washcloths are cheaper to wash than buying a pack of diapers. Chloe is also saying 'yes' and 'no' instead of always nodding her head.
I love my family. : ) We've been through a lot, but I can truly see the blessings we have.
Chloe had her adjusted age 18 month assessment on Monday. It went great! She didn't get referred to any services and she doesn't have to come back for an adjusted 2 year assessment!! I think she really showed up the physical therapy folks. She was running, trying to jump, kicking and rolling a ball, doing her yoga ball (she lays her belly on the ball with hands on the floor and balances quite well). Her range of age is 18 months (because she only has 20 words which is 18 month old) to 23 months (she understands tons). She is short for 21 months (her real age) at 2 feet 7.75 inches, it's the 13th percentile. She weighs 28 pounds and that's the 87th percentile. The doctor said she doesn't need to adjust to 18 months because she is big, fine by me.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Playing Catch Up
As you can see by the pictures in the previous post, I'm trying to catch up on some postings. It helped that I found the camera with the SD card I needed.
I've already been at this coffee shop for 1.5 hours just trying to clean up my email and look things up because I'm so behind! I have a challenge and I'm finding it really hard to do. When you hear what it is, some of you will understand as you do the same thing and others will think "that's easy, what's the problem?"
I was not in a good place spiritually/emotionally the last couple of months. I just felt depressed and out of sorts and feeling like I can't seem to get anything done. Sometimes I feel like a broken record saying this because I'm sure I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it in the future. It's just like last year when I had written on CaringBridge that Jesus says not to worry about tomorrow. How the heck do you do that! I know - prayer, trust in God. See- I know the answers, why do I even ask the questions? Maybe affirmation, maybe someone else needs to hear it. I don't know, I just feel compelled to write it.
As I was saying, not in a good place. I don't think Joel or the girls really notice when I'm like that but I sure do. The icing on the cake of misery was finding out a co-worker and his wife are having twins due mid-May, making the timeline similar to Faith and Chloe. I was really glad that a couple of people came and told me before everyone else got the word. My face just crumbled and so many emotions and thoughts overwhelmed me. "Why do they get to have twins? What did I do wrong? I can't handle hearing all about everything?" It was just a bad day - and when I told Joel, he said "so what?" MEN!
I made an appointment with my counselor to meet with her and work through what was going on. She listened to what was happening. Then she asks if I've been writing in my journal, no I have not been. Why? I don't have time. I use my night reading time to read insurance books for a test I'm taking at the end of November- boring. Then she asked about my Fridays, I'm suppose to use Friday as "me" time, to read a book, see a movie, crafting, whatever makes me happy and gives me a sense of peace. We had agreed to do that a year ago because I would keep feeling overwhelmed by the simplest things. I am not to use the time to go all around town trying to find green sweatpants for Joel's Halloween costume which I did one Friday to help Joel out, he didn't ask me to do it. Nor am I to clean the house or do laundry. HOW...DO...I...NOT...DO...THOSE...THINGS!!! Like right now, I shouldn't be blogging because I don't really want to be blogging but I don't want to get way behind in what's happening in our life. I do get a good feeling when the laundry is clean and put away and the house is clean. Then I feel like I can spend the weekend doing family things or giving Joel time to work on the house while the girls and I play and do art projects. But what happens is I feel down and unable to do anything. It will take me an hour to get ready to do something or the worst is when I can't even put a meal together, I really want to but I can't seem to wrap my brain around what it takes to get that done. I just can't function properly. I don't know if I can explain it clearly. My counselor pointed out to me that I don't think I'm important enough to myself to write in my journal or take "me" time. But I have to please my family and friends and whoever asks me to do whatever. This should be easy, to do what I want, but I'm finding it very hard. I took Halloween off because day care was having an afternoon party, then Joel's department was having trick or treating for kids. I failed on "me" time that day. I can't remember what I did but I remember I wrote in my journal "Failure." Yes, I'm writing again so that's a good thing. Last Friday I maybe did half and half but I still didn't feel like I did much for myself. I think it's because the "me" items were small and didn't take much time.
I will keep trying, putting it in my head that I need to do things that I really enjoy, so I don't feel dragged down. Sometimes I wonder if I switched my Monday and Friday if that would help me because then I would still be trying to clean and do laundry on Saturday and Sunday. Or would I think "I have Monday for that."
At least I don't feel as down as I did and I'm feeling more like my pre-tragedy self. Life is moving on. I have the greatest comfort knowing Faith is in a wonderful place and I don't need to worry about her. I know I'll have the down days but I'll take them in stride. The other day I was at a business lunch at a table of 8 where 2 other people have twins. Ugh. It was okay though. It's no one's fault that they have twins, it happens. It's not my fault that Faith and Chloe had TTTS, it happens for whatever reason no one has figured out yet.
I think my co-worker was avoiding me because it's a sensitive subject. One day I went up to him and told him if his wife needs to see a special maternal fetal doctor, I know of the perfect one. We were really blessed with this doctor, he did all the right things for us. I am so grateful. I've read other TTTS stories where the doctor just tells the couple they should abort one for the best survival of the other or they say neither will live and to abort both. Or the doctor doesn't know about TTTS and it goes undiagnosed, those cases rarely have both babies surviving. Our doctor's objective was to fight for both girls, no other option. Well, he did say we have the right to do nothing - no way!
In other news, next Friday is Chloe's first RSV shot. I need to call the pharmacy because they have not contacted me for approval like they said they would and I'm afraid the doctor's office won't have the shot in when we get there. Monday the 12th is her 18 month assessment. I hope it doesn't last 3 hours like last time. This time it's in the office and not in the Health Department Annex which will have bigger rooms. I've also noticed Chloe likes getting into the girly things like her sister does. She loves the dress up shoes, purses, rings, babies. It's too cute.
Kylie is doing well. She still misses her old day care. That closed end of January this year but she had a great bond with a couple of girls there. She did do a play date with one of the girls a couple of weeks ago. The best part was her old teacher watches this girl so it was hitting two birds with one stone. She didn't want to leave when I picked her up. She also has said that to me all week when I pick her up at day care. She says I'm early and I tell her I'm actually later than I should be. Kids.
I'm done, hopefully everything is up to date now. Below are some pictures of the redone family room. This use to have dark red walls. I like this better, so much lighter!
Halloween Pics and Others
Sisterly Love!
Trick or Treat time!
"What did I get?"
Eating Jell-O
Friends!
Sweet Girl!
Mommy and Chloe
Chloe sleep eating. We know she will do this if we feed her after 12:30
Friday, October 26, 2012
Too Slow
I wanted to post something today but I fear it will be short as the computer I am on is so very slow. I can't stand it, but I'll move on.
Chloe is covered for the RSV shot, the pharmacy had put through November until June, which she's only covered until March. So that all got straightened out and her first shot is November 16. Her 18 month assessment is coming up on the 12th. We have to remember to started taking video or voice recordings of her.
That's about it for now. I hope to post sometime later, but the internet is still not working at home. I don't know how to fix it.
Gotta run.
Chloe is covered for the RSV shot, the pharmacy had put through November until June, which she's only covered until March. So that all got straightened out and her first shot is November 16. Her 18 month assessment is coming up on the 12th. We have to remember to started taking video or voice recordings of her.
That's about it for now. I hope to post sometime later, but the internet is still not working at home. I don't know how to fix it.
Gotta run.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Quick Update
My quick update is about Chloe and the RSV shot.
At the beginning of October, I called the pharmacy that will ship the shot to the doctor. They said they got approval from our health provider but they can't release it until RSV season starts and for Michigan that's November 1. They will contact me later in the month to get some approvals.
Last week we received a letter from the health care provider saying they've reviewed everything and coverage is denied. There is a sentence that says she is eligible for 5 shots but the doctor asked for more than 5 (2 shots for each month because of her weight). I'm not sure if they know that Chloe's weight is why the doctor ordered more than 5 but I took it to the doctor's office and I have to follow up to see if she had time to read it. I wasn't sure if all is denied or just over 5. The reason over 5 is denied is because there have been no clinical test showing the effectiveness of more than one dose. Normally, infants receive the shot, in RSV season up to age 2. If Chloe had gotten the shots last year, she probably wouldn't need it this year. She was doing fine last year until our day care closed and we had to send her and Kylie to a different, bigger one where, a month later, she had RSV in March. I'm a little worried right now as she has a cold. I could tell it was a bit hard for her to breathe through her nose last night : ( Poor baby.
At the beginning of October, I called the pharmacy that will ship the shot to the doctor. They said they got approval from our health provider but they can't release it until RSV season starts and for Michigan that's November 1. They will contact me later in the month to get some approvals.
Last week we received a letter from the health care provider saying they've reviewed everything and coverage is denied. There is a sentence that says she is eligible for 5 shots but the doctor asked for more than 5 (2 shots for each month because of her weight). I'm not sure if they know that Chloe's weight is why the doctor ordered more than 5 but I took it to the doctor's office and I have to follow up to see if she had time to read it. I wasn't sure if all is denied or just over 5. The reason over 5 is denied is because there have been no clinical test showing the effectiveness of more than one dose. Normally, infants receive the shot, in RSV season up to age 2. If Chloe had gotten the shots last year, she probably wouldn't need it this year. She was doing fine last year until our day care closed and we had to send her and Kylie to a different, bigger one where, a month later, she had RSV in March. I'm a little worried right now as she has a cold. I could tell it was a bit hard for her to breathe through her nose last night : ( Poor baby.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
What's Happening?
It's been awhile. I've written drafts of blogs that never got posted because I wasn't done writing them when I ran out of time. I'm going to push through this one no matter what because it's been so long it seems. I'll try my best to remember what's happening.
It was recommended that Chloe get the RSV vaccine for this upcoming season. I've been working with the doctor's office to get that set up because we want to make sure it's covered under insurance. There are only 2 approved pharmacies that distribute the vaccine. The recommended one has been contacted by the doctor's office and the nurse says the pharmacy will get in touch with me to get things moving. Well, I have not been contacted and the nurse has called twice now asking if I have. Ugh. The process started on Sept 19th so it's going on 2 weeks. No one has answered my question on if Chloe should start the vaccine in October or November because I had read somewhere to start a month early and the season starts November. I'm calling the nurse today to see if there's been progress.
Sunday we went to breakfast after church because we were then going to head downtown to see some more Artprize items. Artprize is a contest open to the public to submit art pieces of any sort of media (if a venue will accept the art). We saw items made from wood, tires, metal, paper, grass, and other. The venues are businesses both inside and outside in a 3 square mile radius downtown. We saw what was outside on Sunday. At breakfast, Chloe may have been super hungry, even though she had been snacking on Cheerios, because she was not happy. She seems to get very dramatic when she's hungry and it takes awhile to calm her down. She didn't want to sit in the highchair so I had her on my lap and tried to keep her entertained while our food took awhile to come out. We finally got our food and it took her a few minutes more to actually sit in her chair. This is a true balance game as she likes to throw things when she's not happy or you're not noticing her right away. She wanted to throw the toast on the ground but we stopped her. I gave her some ketchup to get her to realize she could eat. Of course she got some on her tights, but not on her dress. Kylie and her were wearing matching dresses I bought online because I thought they would look so cute and they did, I'll have to get a picture up here. At the end of our meal, I took Kylie to the bathroom and when I came back Joel told me that someone from church paid our bill. They told the waitress they think our kids are cute. They may also have felt for us with Chloe's behavior. That was really nice of them. I have never had the "pay it forward" happen to me. I need to "pay if forward" soon, it's a great idea.
Saturday we went on an old train for a hour ride. Joel and I weren't impressed. Kylie had an okay time and now she can say she was on a train. It was slow though and Kylie asked when we would be going faster. Guess we need to take the Amtrak to Chicago someday with her.
Last Friday I had made a dentist appointment for the same day as I had some pain in my mouth and couldn't chew on one side. The dentist tells me I probably have a crack in my tooth and need a crown. What! I've only have fillings done, nothing more. Is this part of getting older? I spent lovely hours in that office getting a temporary crown and having pictures taken of the tooth that needs the crown so it can be made. I go back on the 17th to get the permanent one. I hope it's better than this temporary one. I want to rip this one out as it feels foreign to me.
October 1 was Joel and my 7 year wedding anniversary. He got me roses, I got him a piece of blueberry pie. It was low key. Our date night a few weeks ago was the nice dinner. I'm not always on the ball about getting someone to watch the girls. Then when I think about it, I think everyone already has plans so I don't bother. I barely remember to tell day care in advance when the girls won't be in.
That's what's going on physically. Mentally, I don't want to go there today. I just know last week I had this cloud of doom hanging over me and it didn't help when I lost the van keys. I hate losing keys. I found them the next day thankfully. It's hard to shut my brain off and that annoys me sometimes, especially at night when I want to go to sleep. It's even more annoying when my brain is singing Strawberry Shortcake songs to me.
It was recommended that Chloe get the RSV vaccine for this upcoming season. I've been working with the doctor's office to get that set up because we want to make sure it's covered under insurance. There are only 2 approved pharmacies that distribute the vaccine. The recommended one has been contacted by the doctor's office and the nurse says the pharmacy will get in touch with me to get things moving. Well, I have not been contacted and the nurse has called twice now asking if I have. Ugh. The process started on Sept 19th so it's going on 2 weeks. No one has answered my question on if Chloe should start the vaccine in October or November because I had read somewhere to start a month early and the season starts November. I'm calling the nurse today to see if there's been progress.
Sunday we went to breakfast after church because we were then going to head downtown to see some more Artprize items. Artprize is a contest open to the public to submit art pieces of any sort of media (if a venue will accept the art). We saw items made from wood, tires, metal, paper, grass, and other. The venues are businesses both inside and outside in a 3 square mile radius downtown. We saw what was outside on Sunday. At breakfast, Chloe may have been super hungry, even though she had been snacking on Cheerios, because she was not happy. She seems to get very dramatic when she's hungry and it takes awhile to calm her down. She didn't want to sit in the highchair so I had her on my lap and tried to keep her entertained while our food took awhile to come out. We finally got our food and it took her a few minutes more to actually sit in her chair. This is a true balance game as she likes to throw things when she's not happy or you're not noticing her right away. She wanted to throw the toast on the ground but we stopped her. I gave her some ketchup to get her to realize she could eat. Of course she got some on her tights, but not on her dress. Kylie and her were wearing matching dresses I bought online because I thought they would look so cute and they did, I'll have to get a picture up here. At the end of our meal, I took Kylie to the bathroom and when I came back Joel told me that someone from church paid our bill. They told the waitress they think our kids are cute. They may also have felt for us with Chloe's behavior. That was really nice of them. I have never had the "pay it forward" happen to me. I need to "pay if forward" soon, it's a great idea.
Saturday we went on an old train for a hour ride. Joel and I weren't impressed. Kylie had an okay time and now she can say she was on a train. It was slow though and Kylie asked when we would be going faster. Guess we need to take the Amtrak to Chicago someday with her.
Last Friday I had made a dentist appointment for the same day as I had some pain in my mouth and couldn't chew on one side. The dentist tells me I probably have a crack in my tooth and need a crown. What! I've only have fillings done, nothing more. Is this part of getting older? I spent lovely hours in that office getting a temporary crown and having pictures taken of the tooth that needs the crown so it can be made. I go back on the 17th to get the permanent one. I hope it's better than this temporary one. I want to rip this one out as it feels foreign to me.
October 1 was Joel and my 7 year wedding anniversary. He got me roses, I got him a piece of blueberry pie. It was low key. Our date night a few weeks ago was the nice dinner. I'm not always on the ball about getting someone to watch the girls. Then when I think about it, I think everyone already has plans so I don't bother. I barely remember to tell day care in advance when the girls won't be in.
That's what's going on physically. Mentally, I don't want to go there today. I just know last week I had this cloud of doom hanging over me and it didn't help when I lost the van keys. I hate losing keys. I found them the next day thankfully. It's hard to shut my brain off and that annoys me sometimes, especially at night when I want to go to sleep. It's even more annoying when my brain is singing Strawberry Shortcake songs to me.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Date Night
Saturday Joel and I got a babysitter and went out for dinner. We went to One Trick Pony and had some excellent food. It was nice to get away, just the two of us. We had forgotten about Celebration on the Grand, but that's was okay, the restaurant wasn't busy. After dinner we walked a few blocks and tried to see if some of the bars were too busy. We decided they were so we went home. What an exciting night we had!! We are officially OLD. I was more willing to go to the bar than Joel was, but that was because he was feeling run down. He's got too much to do and not enough time to do it.
Last night when we got home there was a note on our door. The mason that will be redoing the neighbor's chimney has time and wants to start but our truck is in the way of scaffolding and he doesn't want any debris to fall on it either. Um, the truck's front tires are off because Joel has been fixing the breaks (which has been a pain because of the all wheel drive but on his truck it's rear wheel drive breaks, I don't get it. It's taken Joel awhile to have the time to investigate all this too.) So, the mason will have to wait until the weekend when Joel can hopefully put the truck back together. Joel's also working hard on buffing and staining some concrete counter tops. Those are his jobs, I get the kids. I think I have the easier job - sometimes. If I were stronger and more knowledgeable, I could help him. Because sometimes the kids drive me bonkers.
My example is this weekend Chloe was going up the stairs from 1st floor to 2nd and she stops at a step and bites it. What? I said "Chloe, don't eat the steps, yucky." What kind of child does that? I think she's still getting in some teeth too. Sometimes for dinner, she is so cranky she won't eat anything. We gave her two things of yogurt one day because she liked the feeling on her gums.
Speaking of crazy, Kylie did eat raw corn on the cob a couple of years ago. She loves corn on the cob.
Last night when we got home there was a note on our door. The mason that will be redoing the neighbor's chimney has time and wants to start but our truck is in the way of scaffolding and he doesn't want any debris to fall on it either. Um, the truck's front tires are off because Joel has been fixing the breaks (which has been a pain because of the all wheel drive but on his truck it's rear wheel drive breaks, I don't get it. It's taken Joel awhile to have the time to investigate all this too.) So, the mason will have to wait until the weekend when Joel can hopefully put the truck back together. Joel's also working hard on buffing and staining some concrete counter tops. Those are his jobs, I get the kids. I think I have the easier job - sometimes. If I were stronger and more knowledgeable, I could help him. Because sometimes the kids drive me bonkers.
My example is this weekend Chloe was going up the stairs from 1st floor to 2nd and she stops at a step and bites it. What? I said "Chloe, don't eat the steps, yucky." What kind of child does that? I think she's still getting in some teeth too. Sometimes for dinner, she is so cranky she won't eat anything. We gave her two things of yogurt one day because she liked the feeling on her gums.
Speaking of crazy, Kylie did eat raw corn on the cob a couple of years ago. She loves corn on the cob.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
On Track
Chloe had her 18 month appointment on Friday (even though she's really 19 months). She is doing really well. She weighs 25.5 lbs and is 31.75 inches long. For an 18 month old that puts her in the 60% and 48% percentile, respectively. She hasn't really grown since her 15 month appointment which is fine. I know 24 month pants on her are long. When she was in the hospital in February, the doctors said she needs to get the RSV vaccine this coming RSV season. Her doctor looked into how much to give and the cost and she told me Chloe will need 2 doses because of her weight for the whole season which is 5 months. Each dose cost between $1500 and $2000 (funny there's a $500 swing in there)!! What! Potentially $20,000 for the season! She wanted me to call the health insurance to make sure it's covered. I called today and the deductible has been met this year so it's covered fully this year and then in January we'll have to pay the deductible first which is no where near $20,000. Thank goodness.
That's all I have time for right now.
That's all I have time for right now.
Monday, August 20, 2012
What's Happening?
Almost two weeks since the last post! Whoops! And of course now when I find a little time to write, I can't think of much. I'll start with this past weekend.
Sunday - I took Kylie and Chloe to the zoo. We had a picnic by the front entrance and then went and strolled around. In the penguin building there was a little girl standing next to us that first coughed into her hand (like whooping cough) and then said "baby!" and was going to touch Chloe's hand. I pulled Chloe into me and the little girls' mom told her not to touch. I'm not sure if it was in response to my reaction or not but it made me scared. If that child was truly sick, why would she be at the zoo. But you never know. We also headed over to Meijer Garden because Kylie wanted to and we have memberships to both places. She wanted to see the swamp for some reason. So we saw the swamp. Then it thundered a bit and I said "time to go." What a busy day.
Saturday - Went to a wedding. Kylie loves weddings and seeing the "married girl" and getting to dance. It was a beautiful wedding, I give lots of credit to the bride and groom and all who pulled it off in a couple of months. The father daughter song was "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts. That was the song in the e-card I sent myself from Faith.
Friday - I finally finished our story for Ella Bullis Foundation. I did it in pieces, so it wasn't too bad. Although, how can you not cry when you have to tell the part about your baby's death... I'll post here when I can, with a picture as I don't have a current family picture yet.
Sunday - I took Kylie and Chloe to the zoo. We had a picnic by the front entrance and then went and strolled around. In the penguin building there was a little girl standing next to us that first coughed into her hand (like whooping cough) and then said "baby!" and was going to touch Chloe's hand. I pulled Chloe into me and the little girls' mom told her not to touch. I'm not sure if it was in response to my reaction or not but it made me scared. If that child was truly sick, why would she be at the zoo. But you never know. We also headed over to Meijer Garden because Kylie wanted to and we have memberships to both places. She wanted to see the swamp for some reason. So we saw the swamp. Then it thundered a bit and I said "time to go." What a busy day.
Saturday - Went to a wedding. Kylie loves weddings and seeing the "married girl" and getting to dance. It was a beautiful wedding, I give lots of credit to the bride and groom and all who pulled it off in a couple of months. The father daughter song was "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts. That was the song in the e-card I sent myself from Faith.
Friday - I finally finished our story for Ella Bullis Foundation. I did it in pieces, so it wasn't too bad. Although, how can you not cry when you have to tell the part about your baby's death... I'll post here when I can, with a picture as I don't have a current family picture yet.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
God Said "No"
We still don't have Internet hooked up, but the room looks great. Every night I go and pick up the mess that the girls created. It wasn't too bad last night. Maybe because Chloe was busy throwing her shoes down the stairs instead of messing up the room : )
I wanted to share something I received in an email years and years ago. I think I got it from my brother-in-law, Paul. It spoke to me then and it still speaks to me every time I read.
Isn't it really good? I think so.
I've been very bad about keeping up the blog, one main reason is the no Internet thing. But it just seems like I'm go go go now. Someone retired at work so my work load has increased, but so far so good.
I'm suppose to write 'our story' to send to Ella Bullis foundation so they can put it on the website. I got that email the beginning of July and I said "I'll get it to you in a week." Well 3 weeks have past. Thankfully they are great people so it's okay, but I feel bad, like missing a deadline or bill payment - icky feelings.
Honestly, I don't know if I can write our story down. I know it in my head, but to think back to write something down is terrifying me. It's sad and it will make me cry. I will do it because I said I would but how to get started.... Since we were featured on their site before there is a little story on us that I can start with.
Joel and I are both tired lately because Chloe seems to have issues during the night lately, where she's up crying. Sometimes it's just a couple of seconds, and I can get her back sleeping. Other times something is wrong like last night, I think her tummy hurt and she pooped finally at 12:30AM and did settle down after that. I like to sleep all night long, we need to try to head to bed earlier, that might help. It's funny because she is still a baby, like she was last year, except she doesn't have to eat during the night, so the encounters usually are quicker. I've got to remind myself to enjoy it now, she won't be this little for long. All I have to do is look at Kylie and what a big girl she is getting to be. Often now Kylie and I color together - it's the best. Her favorite color is all the colors : )
I wanted to share something I received in an email years and years ago. I think I got it from my brother-in-law, Paul. It spoke to me then and it still speaks to me every time I read.
GOD SAID “NO”
I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole; his body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience.
God Said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn’t granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart for worldly cares and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own!, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said…Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
Isn't it really good? I think so.
I've been very bad about keeping up the blog, one main reason is the no Internet thing. But it just seems like I'm go go go now. Someone retired at work so my work load has increased, but so far so good.
I'm suppose to write 'our story' to send to Ella Bullis foundation so they can put it on the website. I got that email the beginning of July and I said "I'll get it to you in a week." Well 3 weeks have past. Thankfully they are great people so it's okay, but I feel bad, like missing a deadline or bill payment - icky feelings.
Honestly, I don't know if I can write our story down. I know it in my head, but to think back to write something down is terrifying me. It's sad and it will make me cry. I will do it because I said I would but how to get started.... Since we were featured on their site before there is a little story on us that I can start with.
Joel and I are both tired lately because Chloe seems to have issues during the night lately, where she's up crying. Sometimes it's just a couple of seconds, and I can get her back sleeping. Other times something is wrong like last night, I think her tummy hurt and she pooped finally at 12:30AM and did settle down after that. I like to sleep all night long, we need to try to head to bed earlier, that might help. It's funny because she is still a baby, like she was last year, except she doesn't have to eat during the night, so the encounters usually are quicker. I've got to remind myself to enjoy it now, she won't be this little for long. All I have to do is look at Kylie and what a big girl she is getting to be. Often now Kylie and I color together - it's the best. Her favorite color is all the colors : )
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Done, Sort Of
Well our upstairs is sort of done. For the most part we have our living room back, not everything is back in it but we are working on that. Our Dish doesn't seem to be working, I have no idea why. We have 2 receivers and the one we have in our basement works fine. It's seems because we didn't use the one for almost two months, Dish shut it off or something. I need to take a look at the bill and give them a call. I hope the floor doesn't drive me nuts. I have the urge to swiffer it every time I go up there because of dust and cat hair and everything else. I'm sure I will get use to it as the time factor (don't have time) is influential. I still have to convince Joel we need to put the computer at an actual desk so if Kylie is using it, she sits properly. Before the remodel, the computer screen was on an arm attached to the wall and we sat on the couch either craning our neck or twisting our bodies to see the screen.
Chloe is so cute, I want to give her kisses all the time. She is getting so smart too. She will bring you things or look for something if you ask her to. I don't feel she is delayed in anything. I think we always have these developmental session two weeks before we should because then they would see her walking and talking. She doesn't do full sentences of course but it's coming.
I can't leave out Kylie, she is too cute too. Such a girl. She will only wear leggings (no pants) when it's cold. Right now she mainly wears dresses with an occasional skirt and shirt thrown in. But the dresses either have to be long or frilly so she can twirl or have sparkles on it. What have we (I) done!! Just kidding, it's adorable now. Hopefully she doesn't reach a stage where all she wants to do is wear black : )
Joel and I have had some conversations with Kylie about Faith. She understands that Faith lives with Jesus now in Heaven with Aunt Jan-Al and Uncle Jason's dog and cat. She told Joel she wanted to go to Heaven to see Faith. Last night she asked us who else is in Heaven and I said Mommy and Daddy grandparents. "Only old people go to Heaven." We told her no, all ages go. We will have more of these conversations and I pray that we give good answers that she will understand. We did receive a grieving book for kids when Faith passed that was geared toward kids around age 6, looks like it's time to get that out and look at it.
Chloe is so cute, I want to give her kisses all the time. She is getting so smart too. She will bring you things or look for something if you ask her to. I don't feel she is delayed in anything. I think we always have these developmental session two weeks before we should because then they would see her walking and talking. She doesn't do full sentences of course but it's coming.
I can't leave out Kylie, she is too cute too. Such a girl. She will only wear leggings (no pants) when it's cold. Right now she mainly wears dresses with an occasional skirt and shirt thrown in. But the dresses either have to be long or frilly so she can twirl or have sparkles on it. What have we (I) done!! Just kidding, it's adorable now. Hopefully she doesn't reach a stage where all she wants to do is wear black : )
Joel and I have had some conversations with Kylie about Faith. She understands that Faith lives with Jesus now in Heaven with Aunt Jan-Al and Uncle Jason's dog and cat. She told Joel she wanted to go to Heaven to see Faith. Last night she asked us who else is in Heaven and I said Mommy and Daddy grandparents. "Only old people go to Heaven." We told her no, all ages go. We will have more of these conversations and I pray that we give good answers that she will understand. We did receive a grieving book for kids when Faith passed that was geared toward kids around age 6, looks like it's time to get that out and look at it.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Astigmatism
Chloe's eye appointment on Friday went well. It was only an 1.5 hours, I thought it would be 2 hours. The eye doc said she has a slight astigmatism (Astigmatism (uh-STIG-muh-tiz-um) is a common, mild and generally easily treatable imperfection in the curvature of your eye. The condition can cause blurred vision.) She doesn't need glasses yet, and we go back in a year to check it again because it could change. Now if we notice her doing strange things like bumping into walls then we would go before next July.
That's all I have time to report now. Our living room should be back to normal by next week (getting area rug and cleaning right now). I'll have to post a picture. Hopefully Internet will work.
That's all I have time to report now. Our living room should be back to normal by next week (getting area rug and cleaning right now). I'll have to post a picture. Hopefully Internet will work.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Why do I live in Chaos?
Every day I feel like I don't have any control over what's happening. It's as minor as when I get to brush my teeth or as major as "Uh oh, this bill is due TODAY!" That happened yesterday, but luckily it was for a store so I stopped on my way home and paid it. Kylie just had to ride the escalator, so we did it once. I had Chloe in the stroller so I just left her and went on the escalator with Kylie because Kylie thought she could do it by herself. When we got to the top, she had no clue where to go to get to the bottom again. And no, I didn't leave Chloe, I left the stroller and carried Chloe.
I know God is in control, but I play a part in my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm just waiting for life to begin, or get better. Then I think "life is going on now, pay attention!" Sometimes I feel like things will be better once this is done or that is over. Will it really be better, or is that a pipe dream? Right now I would love to contract the whole house out so Joel was free to spend time with the girls and I. I don't offer up doing things because that would take away from him working on things. It's a crappy place to be. I don't know how to find any balance - with anything - Chaos. You'd know it if you saw my purse, what a jumble of stuff I have in it.
Tomorrow Chloe has an eye appointment. I pray that will go well and it won't take 4 hours. They will have to dilate her eyes. Now that she's more mobile, I'm not sure how this will go.
I know God is in control, but I play a part in my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm just waiting for life to begin, or get better. Then I think "life is going on now, pay attention!" Sometimes I feel like things will be better once this is done or that is over. Will it really be better, or is that a pipe dream? Right now I would love to contract the whole house out so Joel was free to spend time with the girls and I. I don't offer up doing things because that would take away from him working on things. It's a crappy place to be. I don't know how to find any balance - with anything - Chaos. You'd know it if you saw my purse, what a jumble of stuff I have in it.
Tomorrow Chloe has an eye appointment. I pray that will go well and it won't take 4 hours. They will have to dilate her eyes. Now that she's more mobile, I'm not sure how this will go.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Day 25
It's day 25 of the remodel of the upstairs (I'm excluding the downstairs right now because that's going on day 2,557). I'm doing okay with it, there have only been a couple of times when I got frustrated. What's more frustrating is the heat we have. There is no air conditioning in the house, we do have window units for our bedroom and for Kylie's bedroom so it's comfortable at night. And of course since the girls don't have anywhere to play but the bedrooms, it's perfect. These bedrooms are not big so it can get crowded quick with lots of toys around. I'm glad we have the plastic pool for the backyard too. It's funny watching Chloe. I start putting water in the pool and she just climbs right in and sits down. "I'm ready mom!" She loves water.
Hopefully we get some rain, now! I'm afraid some fireworks are going to set the house on fire. It happened to the church we used to attend. That's the theory anyway, fireworks. Nothing official yet as it happened at about 1AM Sunday. They salvaged a crucifix and some chalices from inside and that was all. I remember they had a campaign to raise money to improve the sound system, air/heat, add stain glass windows, new bathrooms, and some other things. They had done most of that, the latest was adding some beautiful stained glass windows. They will rebuild but wow.
That's all the time I have. I will be traveling with the girls to Iowa today. I pray the trip goes well. We'll be back on Sunday.
Hopefully we get some rain, now! I'm afraid some fireworks are going to set the house on fire. It happened to the church we used to attend. That's the theory anyway, fireworks. Nothing official yet as it happened at about 1AM Sunday. They salvaged a crucifix and some chalices from inside and that was all. I remember they had a campaign to raise money to improve the sound system, air/heat, add stain glass windows, new bathrooms, and some other things. They had done most of that, the latest was adding some beautiful stained glass windows. They will rebuild but wow.
That's all the time I have. I will be traveling with the girls to Iowa today. I pray the trip goes well. We'll be back on Sunday.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
No Internet
Currently, because of some remodeling, we don't have internet. It's a bit frustrating but would I have written anything if we did have the internet? Maybe and maybe not. I probably would have so that way I don't get behind in the saga that is life. When you last read about the Emerson's you learned about Father's Day and Joel not getting a boy Barbie. Well, Joel didn't get his Barbie but he did find, for a $1, a Barbie pool. One that you can put water in. Oh boy. Can you imagine what happened? I can't remember why Kylie didn't want anything to do with Joel (this is pretty normal as he's off doing house projects like he needs to be). I suggested he show her what he picked up and he did. Kylie was so excited. She got out a few Barbies but only one went in the pool because she was the one wearing the swimsuit. She also let her Polly Pockets who had swimsuits swim as well. They played in the dinning room because it's wood flooring with an area rug and a nice flat surface for the pool. I don't remember what I was exactly doing when the flood came, I think I was coming upstairs from putting laundry in. Kylie said "The pool broke!" Oh no. Sure enough, one side couldn't hold the water much longer and bent (it's plastic inflatible), water came flooding out and went on the table, rug, and floor. Now we know that's either an outside toy or a tub toy.
Meanwhile, Chloe last week was not herself. It started with a cough and then turned to fever. I think the cause was the air conditioner blowing air over her at night because she is in the pac n play in our bedroom, that and she has 3 new teeth pop up. She now has 4 on top and 4 on bottom, that I can see, maybe there is more. She was just miserable last week. We can tell she is feeling better because she leaves a path of destruction wherever she goes in our house. Joel calls her Chlozilla.
The remodel. What to say about the remodel? Not that the whole house isn't in remodel already, but for the most part it was the first floor. Now it's moved to the third floor. At least it seems to moving along quickly, still not quick enough when you have 2 young children that don't really have a place to play. I feel like telling people "currently we live in a 2 bed, 1 bath apartment." That's how it feels. At least it's nice outside and we have been spending time in the backyard. Joel got a little plastic pool for the girls to sit in, they both love it. Kylie wants to go out every night and sit in it but she hasn't so far this week because by the time we have dinner it's too late to spend enough time outside to make it worthwhile.
So, new flooring, new ceiling, new window, and new paint will complete the room. We are working on clean up of all drywall dust so we can get to 'new paint' stage. I get bogged down in the details, like there are over 50 shot glasses that need to be cleaned up because of the dust. Mind you, I was not there for the "take down and store things elsewhere phase." I wish I was. Not that it matters too much, the dust seems to be everywhere. So depending on the hour, I hate this project or I love this project. It will look great when it's all done. I'll see about some pictures. I'm not sure if we really have any "before" pictures.
Meanwhile, Chloe last week was not herself. It started with a cough and then turned to fever. I think the cause was the air conditioner blowing air over her at night because she is in the pac n play in our bedroom, that and she has 3 new teeth pop up. She now has 4 on top and 4 on bottom, that I can see, maybe there is more. She was just miserable last week. We can tell she is feeling better because she leaves a path of destruction wherever she goes in our house. Joel calls her Chlozilla.
The remodel. What to say about the remodel? Not that the whole house isn't in remodel already, but for the most part it was the first floor. Now it's moved to the third floor. At least it seems to moving along quickly, still not quick enough when you have 2 young children that don't really have a place to play. I feel like telling people "currently we live in a 2 bed, 1 bath apartment." That's how it feels. At least it's nice outside and we have been spending time in the backyard. Joel got a little plastic pool for the girls to sit in, they both love it. Kylie wants to go out every night and sit in it but she hasn't so far this week because by the time we have dinner it's too late to spend enough time outside to make it worthwhile.
So, new flooring, new ceiling, new window, and new paint will complete the room. We are working on clean up of all drywall dust so we can get to 'new paint' stage. I get bogged down in the details, like there are over 50 shot glasses that need to be cleaned up because of the dust. Mind you, I was not there for the "take down and store things elsewhere phase." I wish I was. Not that it matters too much, the dust seems to be everywhere. So depending on the hour, I hate this project or I love this project. It will look great when it's all done. I'll see about some pictures. I'm not sure if we really have any "before" pictures.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Father's Day
I'm a bit behind in posting but it's hard when everything in the house is torn apart, literally.
I will say this weekend was a good weekend. Our house is a mess, more than usual, but I managed to put it out of my mind, for the most part (though, women don't forget). Saturday we went to a birthday party for Joel's niece who turned one. The van we just bought in December had a cracked radiator cap and the stupid tire must have ran over something so Joel had some issues to address while at the party but things worked out and we made it home by 10. Thank goodness this didn't happen when it was just me and the girls going to or coming from Iowa.
Sunday Joel finished putting a window in our third floor (yes, we had a gapping hole in our house for a week, that story will be for another time). I made Kylie work. She swiffered the kitchen and hall floor then washed it while Chloe slept. In the afternoon we went outside. Kylie ate most of the raspberries I picked off our bushes. Joel got 5 and I had 3, Kylie had 15. Chloe loved going down the slide and the little daredevil was trying to climb up the slides we have, good thing her shoes were wet from playing in a bucket of water and she couldn't get any traction. For dinner, we took Joel to Smokey Bones. Chloe loves pulled pork and mashed potatoes. We got Joel a 59 piece tool kit so he would stop taking and using mine and not putting it back. We did not get him the boy Barbie Kylie wanted to get him. She also wanted to get him flowers which we kind of did, I got two hanging baskets and some petunias for my box garden.
I will say this weekend was a good weekend. Our house is a mess, more than usual, but I managed to put it out of my mind, for the most part (though, women don't forget). Saturday we went to a birthday party for Joel's niece who turned one. The van we just bought in December had a cracked radiator cap and the stupid tire must have ran over something so Joel had some issues to address while at the party but things worked out and we made it home by 10. Thank goodness this didn't happen when it was just me and the girls going to or coming from Iowa.
Sunday Joel finished putting a window in our third floor (yes, we had a gapping hole in our house for a week, that story will be for another time). I made Kylie work. She swiffered the kitchen and hall floor then washed it while Chloe slept. In the afternoon we went outside. Kylie ate most of the raspberries I picked off our bushes. Joel got 5 and I had 3, Kylie had 15. Chloe loved going down the slide and the little daredevil was trying to climb up the slides we have, good thing her shoes were wet from playing in a bucket of water and she couldn't get any traction. For dinner, we took Joel to Smokey Bones. Chloe loves pulled pork and mashed potatoes. We got Joel a 59 piece tool kit so he would stop taking and using mine and not putting it back. We did not get him the boy Barbie Kylie wanted to get him. She also wanted to get him flowers which we kind of did, I got two hanging baskets and some petunias for my box garden.
Monday, June 11, 2012
The Farm
Kylie, Chloe, and I arrived safely at my parents house on Wednesday evening. I stopped for an hour and a half in Illinois to let them run around. Chloe isn't as acclaimated to car trips like Kylie is. She'll get used to it. It wasn't too bad. Last year when she needed a bottle was worse. I was able to feed Chloe by reaching behind me with her food and she would grab it and eat it.
We've been having a good time in Iowa. My dad only has 24 pigs left which is quite amazing when he used to have about 2,000 on the farm at any one time. He has also been deconstructing most of the buildings on the farm. Looks very different to me. The one they are working on now I remember being built when I was in high school (I think). I just remember I had to run and tell one of the roofers his wife was in labor so he high tailed it out of there. I guess that was over 15 years ago. Wow! I took some pictures of the girls by the pigs but these pigs are not the cute little ones everyone loves. I believe these will be leaving the farm soon. I need to take more pictures of the girls here to get a good scrapbook of The Farm.
I was thinking of naming this post "Still Tired" or "Even More Tired" because I have not gotten any real rest here. I sleep with Kylie, who sometimes sleep talks and walks. The other night I caught her before she ran off the bed but she jumped up and said "I'm running" I said "no, no, no don't run." Plus Chloe is in the crib in the room and will cry out now and then even though she is sleeping. Ugh. Last night was bad because I choose to have coffee with this delicious cake my brother in law made but the coffee was regular. So I fell asleep at 11:00 but woke up periodically because of crying or feet kicking and then at 1:30 to 2:30 I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep. Then my mind was all over the place. I was thinking "I can't do this anymore." I honestly don't know how I'll make it back to Michigan, I'm going to be so tired. I'm going to try to get some naps in but it's hard because Chloe wants me whenever she sees me and then Kylie gets jealous and hangs on me too. I got away now because Chloe is napping and Kylie is busy playing with her cousins who are also staying at my parent's house. I'm suppose to be studying for an insurance test too. I'd like to take a test end of June but not sure if that will happen.
Time is definitely flying here. I've attached some pictures.
We've been having a good time in Iowa. My dad only has 24 pigs left which is quite amazing when he used to have about 2,000 on the farm at any one time. He has also been deconstructing most of the buildings on the farm. Looks very different to me. The one they are working on now I remember being built when I was in high school (I think). I just remember I had to run and tell one of the roofers his wife was in labor so he high tailed it out of there. I guess that was over 15 years ago. Wow! I took some pictures of the girls by the pigs but these pigs are not the cute little ones everyone loves. I believe these will be leaving the farm soon. I need to take more pictures of the girls here to get a good scrapbook of The Farm.
I was thinking of naming this post "Still Tired" or "Even More Tired" because I have not gotten any real rest here. I sleep with Kylie, who sometimes sleep talks and walks. The other night I caught her before she ran off the bed but she jumped up and said "I'm running" I said "no, no, no don't run." Plus Chloe is in the crib in the room and will cry out now and then even though she is sleeping. Ugh. Last night was bad because I choose to have coffee with this delicious cake my brother in law made but the coffee was regular. So I fell asleep at 11:00 but woke up periodically because of crying or feet kicking and then at 1:30 to 2:30 I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep. Then my mind was all over the place. I was thinking "I can't do this anymore." I honestly don't know how I'll make it back to Michigan, I'm going to be so tired. I'm going to try to get some naps in but it's hard because Chloe wants me whenever she sees me and then Kylie gets jealous and hangs on me too. I got away now because Chloe is napping and Kylie is busy playing with her cousins who are also staying at my parent's house. I'm suppose to be studying for an insurance test too. I'd like to take a test end of June but not sure if that will happen.
Time is definitely flying here. I've attached some pictures.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Traveling
Today I will be taking the girls to Iowa with me while Joel stays home. I did this last year by myself and I know I can do it but I'm just nervous. I don't want to forget anything. Good thing there are stores there in case I do :) I trust God will get us there safely. We've got Faith looking out for us too.
My parents don't have internet so I don't know how often I will be updating the blog, not that I've been updating it too much anyway. It'd be great to get some farm pictures.
Other than that, I don't really have too much to say. I'm not in the best of places right now so until I'm feeling better I won't say anything as I don't want to offend or hurt anyone. I don't know if I do it to myself or what. I didn't get the best sleep last night either so that doesn't help. Less sleep = emotional mess.
I sent myself an e-card saying it was from Faith. I'll see if I can post it, but it's a Rascal Flats songs "My Wish to You" or something like that. I just felt that Faith was talking to me and to Chloe through it. I sent it to myself for a reminder: "May your dreams be big and your worries stay small."
My parents don't have internet so I don't know how often I will be updating the blog, not that I've been updating it too much anyway. It'd be great to get some farm pictures.
Other than that, I don't really have too much to say. I'm not in the best of places right now so until I'm feeling better I won't say anything as I don't want to offend or hurt anyone. I don't know if I do it to myself or what. I didn't get the best sleep last night either so that doesn't help. Less sleep = emotional mess.
I sent myself an e-card saying it was from Faith. I'll see if I can post it, but it's a Rascal Flats songs "My Wish to You" or something like that. I just felt that Faith was talking to me and to Chloe through it. I sent it to myself for a reminder: "May your dreams be big and your worries stay small."
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
I was sending up some prayers today and I was praying for little babies everywhere and I wanted to say "help them through their fight, whatever it may be." Why this is true that God does help babies through their fight (maybe not that way everyone on Earth wants), I said "Your will be done." That's what I prayed for Faith. I asked Him to make her stronge and get through this, but in the end I always said "Lord, your will be done, not mine."
I actually was praying that when I went into the hospital on bed rest. I wanted to stay pregnant with both girls until March, then it became one more week, one more day (I went into the hospital on Jan 13 and had the girls on Jan 22, not long at all). So I would pray that the girls stayed strong and healthy and alive in the womb, but I would also pray the Our Father, stressing the "Thy will be done" part, as only He knows the big picture.
I feel as though I have strayed from Him. It's been an on again, off again situation. Why can't I keep my focus? Too much 'stuff' is the answer. I started reading "Heaven is Real" by Todd Burpo. Todd's son, Colton, just before he turned 4, had a burst appendix and almost died, or I should say he did die and went to Heaven and met Jesus and John the Baptist. I'm about halfway through it and it is a great book, I just get chills from it.
Let me fill everyone in on the one and only Chloe Bear, risk taker galor! If only we had her assessment this week, I'm not sure if her speech would have improved, it's sometimes hard to understand the Ah's from the Oh's and so forth. But, she is walking now like a proud little peacock and she can get up to standing without holding onto something (that was asked in the assessment). She does "high five" and loves to just plop herself down on an awaiting lap. She is also getting another bottom tooth, the left canine I believe. She loves taking baths. Last night after we had gotten home from being up north, I was putting some things away in the bathroom and she was walking around and came in the bathroom. Our bathtub is exposed on 2 sides and the backside is narrower than the side. Well, Chloe pushed the shower curtain aside, and climbed on in. I didn't see her do it, I just heard something and when I turned around there she was sitting and smiling up at me like "ok Mom ready for my bath." It was so cute! She could have hurt herself getting into the tub but she didn't.
Her next daredevil act was stairclimbing! I was clearing dinner, Joel had gone outside, Kylie was eating strawberries. I put Chloe down to walk around and she was in the kitchen and then I thought she was going to go to one of the bedrooms. Next thing I hear is Kylie yelling "Mom, Chloe's going upstairs!" I said "What!" and ran to the dinning room (that's where the stairs to the third floor are, the 3rd floor is the converted attic). She was halfway up those stairs, little stinker! Either she is fast (and she is fast) or Kylie was slow on the go to tell me.
Then she found her baby swing, one that plays music and lights up. She thought that was pretty cool so she climbed on in that, with my help, and swung very happily for a couple of minutes. She is such a ham! I am so grateful to God for her, such a carefree little being.
I'm kind of worried about Chloe's upper teeth, one looks like it might not be coming in right. I realized that it's time we start limiting the pacifier. I think I may take her with me to my next dentist appoinment so the dentist can have a look, but then again, I should either make a separate appoinment for her or have someone with me to corral her and keep her busy, otherwise who knows what she'll get in to. Joel looked at them and he doesn't see anything wrong, but I'm not so sure.
This past weekend we were up north as I said. It was very nice weather except on Sunday it was stormy. That gave me an opportunity to do an art project with Kylie. I'll have to post a picture. We took tin cans and picked out two colors of ribbon and did a weaver around the can. I did most of it since we had to use a hot glue gun to get the ribbon to stay. They are very cute. I did a purple and green ribbon and Kylie did pink and blue. I told her she was Sleeping Beauty because he dress changed from pink to blue and back again. Kylie also got to play in the sand and go in the water as it wasn't too cold for her. This was Lake Charlevoix. Chloe really couldn't be on the beach, she would try and stick everything in her mouth and she'd try to be quick about it too. If I don't have gray hair now, I will soon! Actually I think I did find one the other week.
I actually was praying that when I went into the hospital on bed rest. I wanted to stay pregnant with both girls until March, then it became one more week, one more day (I went into the hospital on Jan 13 and had the girls on Jan 22, not long at all). So I would pray that the girls stayed strong and healthy and alive in the womb, but I would also pray the Our Father, stressing the "Thy will be done" part, as only He knows the big picture.
I feel as though I have strayed from Him. It's been an on again, off again situation. Why can't I keep my focus? Too much 'stuff' is the answer. I started reading "Heaven is Real" by Todd Burpo. Todd's son, Colton, just before he turned 4, had a burst appendix and almost died, or I should say he did die and went to Heaven and met Jesus and John the Baptist. I'm about halfway through it and it is a great book, I just get chills from it.
Let me fill everyone in on the one and only Chloe Bear, risk taker galor! If only we had her assessment this week, I'm not sure if her speech would have improved, it's sometimes hard to understand the Ah's from the Oh's and so forth. But, she is walking now like a proud little peacock and she can get up to standing without holding onto something (that was asked in the assessment). She does "high five" and loves to just plop herself down on an awaiting lap. She is also getting another bottom tooth, the left canine I believe. She loves taking baths. Last night after we had gotten home from being up north, I was putting some things away in the bathroom and she was walking around and came in the bathroom. Our bathtub is exposed on 2 sides and the backside is narrower than the side. Well, Chloe pushed the shower curtain aside, and climbed on in. I didn't see her do it, I just heard something and when I turned around there she was sitting and smiling up at me like "ok Mom ready for my bath." It was so cute! She could have hurt herself getting into the tub but she didn't.
Her next daredevil act was stairclimbing! I was clearing dinner, Joel had gone outside, Kylie was eating strawberries. I put Chloe down to walk around and she was in the kitchen and then I thought she was going to go to one of the bedrooms. Next thing I hear is Kylie yelling "Mom, Chloe's going upstairs!" I said "What!" and ran to the dinning room (that's where the stairs to the third floor are, the 3rd floor is the converted attic). She was halfway up those stairs, little stinker! Either she is fast (and she is fast) or Kylie was slow on the go to tell me.
Then she found her baby swing, one that plays music and lights up. She thought that was pretty cool so she climbed on in that, with my help, and swung very happily for a couple of minutes. She is such a ham! I am so grateful to God for her, such a carefree little being.
I'm kind of worried about Chloe's upper teeth, one looks like it might not be coming in right. I realized that it's time we start limiting the pacifier. I think I may take her with me to my next dentist appoinment so the dentist can have a look, but then again, I should either make a separate appoinment for her or have someone with me to corral her and keep her busy, otherwise who knows what she'll get in to. Joel looked at them and he doesn't see anything wrong, but I'm not so sure.
This past weekend we were up north as I said. It was very nice weather except on Sunday it was stormy. That gave me an opportunity to do an art project with Kylie. I'll have to post a picture. We took tin cans and picked out two colors of ribbon and did a weaver around the can. I did most of it since we had to use a hot glue gun to get the ribbon to stay. They are very cute. I did a purple and green ribbon and Kylie did pink and blue. I told her she was Sleeping Beauty because he dress changed from pink to blue and back again. Kylie also got to play in the sand and go in the water as it wasn't too cold for her. This was Lake Charlevoix. Chloe really couldn't be on the beach, she would try and stick everything in her mouth and she'd try to be quick about it too. If I don't have gray hair now, I will soon! Actually I think I did find one the other week.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
We Have A Walker!
Just wanted to write a quick note and let everyone know that Chloe can now walk. Little stinker, I was hoping she would do it last week at her assessment but the girl is on her own time. She is so darn cute and very animated and loves to laugh. I've got to try and post video (haha good luck to me). June 1 is her hearing test at the hospital so I hope that goes well.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Assessment
Chloe had her 12 month assessment this morning. It was a long morning, my goodness. We were there from 8:30 to 11:45. Poor girl couldn't take a nap even though she really needed to. That's why I wonder if she didn't perform as well on the later assessments as she did with the first few. I feel exhausted with this day, maybe I shouldn't have gone to work as it was hard to concentrate. I have mixed emotions about this morning. Overall, Chloe did great! She rocked most things. Physical therapy put her at 12 months, Psychology put her at 13 months, Occupational therapy was her best - 17 months!! She's only 15 months old. From the notes: "Chloe was able to pick up and release cheerios using a finger and thumb grasp. She stacked two blocks and placed coins in a piggy bank. Chloe was observed to hold a crayon with her finger tips at the top of a crayon and scribble spontaneously. She also imitated marks on a page. She was able to pull lego blocks apart and was observed to put them back together one time."
The bothersome items are she had to be referred on her hearing test. She now the hospital will call to set up an appointment for that. This could be because of her cold and maybe some fluid in the ear, but maybe not. On her speech therapy, she scored between an 8-9 month old. I don't really feel that's correct but we get Early On services for free so they will also be calling us to meet once a month with Chloe. Then Chloe will show them how awesome she is and we won't need them anymore. From the speech notes: "Rec. Lang: 9 mos. Turns toward bell, rattle, papper. Responds to her name as well as unfamiliar name. Does not respond to two familiar words (diaper, drink). Maintains attn during ball play for 60 secs. Responds to two spoken requests (wave bye bye, blow a kiss). Exp Comm: 8 mos. Vocalizes to speaker's attn. Heard one vowel (ah) and 4 consonants (m,b,d,y) in repetitive syllables. Doesn't imitate repetitive syllables." I was a bit discouraged at this but this assessment was the second to last one and Chloe was getting pretty tired and angry. She did asks some questions about what Chloe does and I answered as truthfully as I could because if something is wrong, we can catch it early.
Today brought back memories of just knowing Chloe is a twin. How would Faith have done? Would she be on a breathing machine or have a sever handicap? Questions only God knows the answers to. What was really strange is on the way home from picking up Kylie and Chloe, Kylie was all sad at one point and said "You know why I'm crying? I miss my baby Faith." She wasn't really crying - she got me to cry - and it lasted only a moment and she was back to happy but how strange. I said "You know Faith was Chloe's twin?" "yes" I guess God works in mysterious ways. Of course then Kylie says "My stomach and back hurt, I need to lay on my bed and play and then I will feel better." OK. She is really good about finding something to do when we get home so I can make dinner. Chloe on the other hand seems to be starving and cranky, hopefully she'll grow out of that. I gave her crackers while I made dinner so that helped a lot.
The bothersome items are she had to be referred on her hearing test. She now the hospital will call to set up an appointment for that. This could be because of her cold and maybe some fluid in the ear, but maybe not. On her speech therapy, she scored between an 8-9 month old. I don't really feel that's correct but we get Early On services for free so they will also be calling us to meet once a month with Chloe. Then Chloe will show them how awesome she is and we won't need them anymore. From the speech notes: "Rec. Lang: 9 mos. Turns toward bell, rattle, papper. Responds to her name as well as unfamiliar name. Does not respond to two familiar words (diaper, drink). Maintains attn during ball play for 60 secs. Responds to two spoken requests (wave bye bye, blow a kiss). Exp Comm: 8 mos. Vocalizes to speaker's attn. Heard one vowel (ah) and 4 consonants (m,b,d,y) in repetitive syllables. Doesn't imitate repetitive syllables." I was a bit discouraged at this but this assessment was the second to last one and Chloe was getting pretty tired and angry. She did asks some questions about what Chloe does and I answered as truthfully as I could because if something is wrong, we can catch it early.
Today brought back memories of just knowing Chloe is a twin. How would Faith have done? Would she be on a breathing machine or have a sever handicap? Questions only God knows the answers to. What was really strange is on the way home from picking up Kylie and Chloe, Kylie was all sad at one point and said "You know why I'm crying? I miss my baby Faith." She wasn't really crying - she got me to cry - and it lasted only a moment and she was back to happy but how strange. I said "You know Faith was Chloe's twin?" "yes" I guess God works in mysterious ways. Of course then Kylie says "My stomach and back hurt, I need to lay on my bed and play and then I will feel better." OK. She is really good about finding something to do when we get home so I can make dinner. Chloe on the other hand seems to be starving and cranky, hopefully she'll grow out of that. I gave her crackers while I made dinner so that helped a lot.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms and moms-to-be out there. I tried calling my mom tonight but I guess she wasn't home and the machine didn't pick up. I'll try tomorrow (if I remember, I'm bad about remembering). I had a good day. We went to church, out to breakfast, over to family, and then home to play with the girls while Joel worked in the back yard. Our back yard is a mess. I think we need something easier to maintain. Although, it should get easier just because Chloe is getting older. She takes more than 3 steps now. I'd say about 5 or 6 at the most. The goal was to have her walking by her appointment tomorrow. She's on the right track, so I'm not going to rush it. Joel and I think she weighs a ton though, carrying her around. We're like "this can't be 25 pounds." I think gets gets weighed tomorrow so we can see. I'm going to try and post some pictures. Hopefully it works. I may have to post this first and then the pictures.
Here goes something...
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are the pictures in order. Hope this goes through, right now all I see is coding.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Cardiologist
Chloe had her cardiologist appointment on Friday. It went really well. Found out she's 25 pounds which I thought she was 27, it's all that moving around she does. The doctor said her heart is sounding fine and that he doesn't need to see her until next summer. Good news!
After Chloe's appointment we headed to the Farmers Market and bought some ruhbarb, well I did, Chloe slept through the whole market experience. I kept her home all day on Friday because I didn't know how long the appointment would be. We had a great time just Chloe and I. After Joel and Kylie came home and we had dinner we went plant shopping to get some vegetables and flowers. Now we just need to get them planted, but I'm not sure if we should or will there be more frost.
Today I took Kylie and Chloe to the library in the morning thinking they had story time at 11 but they didn't. We stayed and read some books and played with some puzzles, we had a good time. In the afternoon Joel took the girls shopping for a Mother's Day gift. When they got home, Kylie comes up the steps and says "Momma, we got you a locket with mirrors so you can open it and see yourself put on your makeup!" HAHAHAHA! Well, so much for a surprise : ) It's so cute.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Teeth
I officially see two top teeth in Chloe's mouth. Now there's four, how exciting! Tonight during dinner Chloe somehow turned herself around in her highchair. She was facing backward. When it was time to get her out, I couldn't. She was stuck. I didn't think I would be able to get her out! I eventually bent her leg and pushed it through, I'm not sure that it was comfortable for Chloe but it worked. Whew! Yesterday on the way to daycare Chloe pooped. This wasn't as bad as last week when she did it 5 minutes into driving and then Kylie telling me it stinked in the van. This time we were almost there and Chloe was crying. I asked Chloe what was her problem and Kylie said "she pooped." It didn't really stink though. So at daycare I was going to drop off Kylie first like normal and then I notice Chloe's pants were getting wet, it was seeping through. Kylie said "Uh, I don't want to give her a kiss." Last week we had to drop Chloe off first because stuff was everywhere. This time it was a bit better but she still needed a wardrobe change. Hopefully this doesn't become a weekly event for Little Miss Chloe Bear.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Busy Busy May
So begins our busy month. I can't believe it's already May 7. Tomorrow is Joel's birthday, he'll be 36. He keeps denying that he has any gray hair, but I can see them.
This past weekend Joel and I sent the girls to Grandpa and Nanny's and we went up north to Traverse City. We went wine tasting with a group of friends and came back with way too many bottles. We'll drink them, eventually. This is a yearly trip for us except for last year. That was too much for us to do. Chloe had just come home and Faith's death was still fresh. We still have wine from two years and beyond. I think now we're set for 10 years.
Kylie and Chloe had a good time with the grandparents. I'm glad they did and that Joel and I could get away. Next time it should be the two of us, not the two of us and 15 friends. : ) I did miss the girls on Sunday night. So when we picked them up a day care today. My heart was so full of love. Chloe looked older to me too. I thought "Is that my baby?"
Chloe has her cardiologist appointment on Friday, which is the same day as Muffins with Mom at daycare. I get to have a muffin with Kylie when I drop her off on Friday and then I'll go to the appointment. I'm glad that Joel is coming along. He can stay with Chloe until I get back and then we'll go and he usually has some good questions to ask.
Chloe also has her top front tooth coming in. I think it's just one but maybe it's both. She's not one to let you look in her mouth.
Another great thing - our house is fairly clean. I love that.
I'll need to post pictures soon.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Happy One Year Adjusted Chloe and Faith!
I'm going to scream. Twice I've written something and twice I've accidentally deleted it because I'm on the laptop. I GIVE UP! Maybe another day, this one is in the toliet for multiple reasons.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Walking
This morning we went to the March of Dimes walk in Grand Rapids. We had breakfast there and they had lots of things for Kylie to do. Chloe did well, she was a bit cranky but then she fell asleep and that was okay. I want to send a Thank You to all those who donated to us. We both reached our goal of $500 each.
We got home just after noon and then Aunt Jan-Al picked up Kylie to spend the weekend at their house. She said she was going to take Kylie to an indoor play place. Jan-Al sent me a picture and it looked like Kylie was having tons of fun.
Tomorrow we are having family over to celebrate Chloe's adjusted 1 year birthday. We froze her cake from January and I'm going to pull it out of the freezer for tomorrow.
I've got to post early than I do, I feel so brain dead right now. I usually have stuff on my mind that I can post but when it comes time to post, I can't think of anything to say. It's not like nothing is going on. Chloe had a pre-appointment for her developmental assessment. The woman came in and asked some questions about how much is Chloe eating, sleeping, peeing, etc. She seemed to think Chloe was doing good but we'll know for sure on the 14th at Chloe's appointment.
We got home just after noon and then Aunt Jan-Al picked up Kylie to spend the weekend at their house. She said she was going to take Kylie to an indoor play place. Jan-Al sent me a picture and it looked like Kylie was having tons of fun.
Tomorrow we are having family over to celebrate Chloe's adjusted 1 year birthday. We froze her cake from January and I'm going to pull it out of the freezer for tomorrow.
I've got to post early than I do, I feel so brain dead right now. I usually have stuff on my mind that I can post but when it comes time to post, I can't think of anything to say. It's not like nothing is going on. Chloe had a pre-appointment for her developmental assessment. The woman came in and asked some questions about how much is Chloe eating, sleeping, peeing, etc. She seemed to think Chloe was doing good but we'll know for sure on the 14th at Chloe's appointment.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Pinkalicious
Sunday I took Kylie to see Pinkalicious. She loved it, we had fun. Pinkalicious Pinkerton is a little girl who loves pink everything and most of all pink cupcakes. She eats so many cupcakes she turns pink and needs to eat green food to turn back to normal.
On Saturday a couple of friends took me out for some pampering. A pedicure and manicure and then dinner. It was very nice to get away. Although I think my toes are very sensitive. This was my first pedicure and when the person used the pumice stone, they scrapped my toes and actually scrapped my toes, one on each foot. Besides that part, it was great.
Chloe is doing a lot better. She seems to be teething, nothing showing through yet but she sure is a cranky pants.
On Saturday a couple of friends took me out for some pampering. A pedicure and manicure and then dinner. It was very nice to get away. Although I think my toes are very sensitive. This was my first pedicure and when the person used the pumice stone, they scrapped my toes and actually scrapped my toes, one on each foot. Besides that part, it was great.
Chloe is doing a lot better. She seems to be teething, nothing showing through yet but she sure is a cranky pants.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Today's events
What's happening today you ask? Well, there are three things I can think of.
Chloe is home because of her fever yesterday. She is doing much better and the her temperature at noon was 99.3. Hopefully it stays down. Because Chloe is home, I am home. Joel is doing a JA in a day today.
Our tax woman called yesterday with a question on social security numbers, so I called today and found out someone stole Faith's ID. I heard that can happen when a person dies, there a vultures waiting to prey. The tax woman is sending us a form that we sign and send in. We have her card so there shouldn't be any problems verifying it.
Today I am 33. I'm still waiting for my surprise 30th birthday party : ) (sorry Joel, have to pick on you.)
Chloe is home because of her fever yesterday. She is doing much better and the her temperature at noon was 99.3. Hopefully it stays down. Because Chloe is home, I am home. Joel is doing a JA in a day today.
Our tax woman called yesterday with a question on social security numbers, so I called today and found out someone stole Faith's ID. I heard that can happen when a person dies, there a vultures waiting to prey. The tax woman is sending us a form that we sign and send in. We have her card so there shouldn't be any problems verifying it.
Today I am 33. I'm still waiting for my surprise 30th birthday party : ) (sorry Joel, have to pick on you.)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Frustrated
I am frustrated with just about everything at the moment. Let me list them.
1. Chloe has a fever of 101.8. I thought when I picked her up from day care she looked tired and after I fed her dinner I took her temperature. I gave her Tylenol and put her to bed.
The next two go together.
2. Joel isn't making any progress on the house. Just to recap, our whole downstairs isn't really livable. He needs to do the kitchen, bath, and dining areas as well as finish the living room (minor things in there). Oh, and there is a leak from the 2nd floor bath tub pipe that we have a storage container catching the water.
3. Joel isn't really home to work on any of the house. He's working overtime right now and it doesn't look like there's any end in sight. This has been happening all year and it's just tiring. More for him. He came home tonight and was upset he wasn't here for Chloe and her fever. I told him I had it under control. I'm not sure if he has to work this weekend. I hope not. Kylie has a class at the library Saturday morning and then I'm taking her to Pinkalicious on Sunday. So he needs to watch Chloe and hopefully fix the leak.
I need to get better at preparing dinners ahead of time as it's 6 when I get home with the girls and it's nice to have some play time after dinner but if we don't get done eating until 7, we only get an hour of play and then it's time to get ready for bed, which seems to take an hour.
4. I couldn't give red platelets today at the blood bank because my iron is too low. It's been a point or two lower than what's allowed. I told her I tried to eat the iron rich foods like Cream of Wheat, but then I just read how coffee and tea inhibit iron absorption - oops. She told me to drink orange juice as the vitamin C will help absorption and then try next week. I went straight to the store and got the iron pills and some OJ. I had to take iron when I was pregnant but the type I had was awful because I couldn't take it with food and then I would usually just throw up because it made me so nauseous. I think I took them before bed and that helped but boy they were gross pills.
This isn't really a frustration but it will cause some worry. May 14 is Chloe's next developmental appointment. I think she's on track but they are the official word of where she falls developmentally. I got the letter today reminding me of the date and that someone will call and come over to our house to do some pre-work like last time. I hope Joel can be around for that. She's got her cardiologist appointment on the 11th and her 15 month check on the 18th. We're going to be busy bees in May. I know she also has an eye appointment sometime in June (I think it's June).
I should mention we had gone to Iowa this past weekend for my niece's First Communion. It was nice going and I wish I had more time with my family. I'll be taking the girls in June when my brother is in town as well. That will be nice. The visit was nice but I felt withdrawn. I don't know what was going on. I partially blame my mood on the Hunger Games books. I was reading Catching Fire. I don't know how to put this but reading the book (don't want to give too much away) and reading large chunks at a time had this heaviness to it, like a sense of doom. I realize I need to stay away from those type of books because it's not what I need now. I did finish the series so that's done.
Chloe's fever hasn't returned, maybe it's just a fluke. She had that once this year and it's happened to Kylie too. I thought Kylie was going to be sick today because last night she fell asleep in the car and I put her in bed when we got home and she did not want to get up for anything. She slept for just over 12 hours! Guess she had some catching up to do. She rarely seems to take a nap at day care, too much going on I guess. It's hard to wake her up too. I would like to say "Mom and Dad, I am very sorry about how I acted when you would wake me up." That goes to my brother and sisters too. What goes around comes around. I see me in Kylie when she doesn't want to get up and is grumpy - that's me, totally me.
1. Chloe has a fever of 101.8. I thought when I picked her up from day care she looked tired and after I fed her dinner I took her temperature. I gave her Tylenol and put her to bed.
The next two go together.
2. Joel isn't making any progress on the house. Just to recap, our whole downstairs isn't really livable. He needs to do the kitchen, bath, and dining areas as well as finish the living room (minor things in there). Oh, and there is a leak from the 2nd floor bath tub pipe that we have a storage container catching the water.
3. Joel isn't really home to work on any of the house. He's working overtime right now and it doesn't look like there's any end in sight. This has been happening all year and it's just tiring. More for him. He came home tonight and was upset he wasn't here for Chloe and her fever. I told him I had it under control. I'm not sure if he has to work this weekend. I hope not. Kylie has a class at the library Saturday morning and then I'm taking her to Pinkalicious on Sunday. So he needs to watch Chloe and hopefully fix the leak.
I need to get better at preparing dinners ahead of time as it's 6 when I get home with the girls and it's nice to have some play time after dinner but if we don't get done eating until 7, we only get an hour of play and then it's time to get ready for bed, which seems to take an hour.
4. I couldn't give red platelets today at the blood bank because my iron is too low. It's been a point or two lower than what's allowed. I told her I tried to eat the iron rich foods like Cream of Wheat, but then I just read how coffee and tea inhibit iron absorption - oops. She told me to drink orange juice as the vitamin C will help absorption and then try next week. I went straight to the store and got the iron pills and some OJ. I had to take iron when I was pregnant but the type I had was awful because I couldn't take it with food and then I would usually just throw up because it made me so nauseous. I think I took them before bed and that helped but boy they were gross pills.
This isn't really a frustration but it will cause some worry. May 14 is Chloe's next developmental appointment. I think she's on track but they are the official word of where she falls developmentally. I got the letter today reminding me of the date and that someone will call and come over to our house to do some pre-work like last time. I hope Joel can be around for that. She's got her cardiologist appointment on the 11th and her 15 month check on the 18th. We're going to be busy bees in May. I know she also has an eye appointment sometime in June (I think it's June).
I should mention we had gone to Iowa this past weekend for my niece's First Communion. It was nice going and I wish I had more time with my family. I'll be taking the girls in June when my brother is in town as well. That will be nice. The visit was nice but I felt withdrawn. I don't know what was going on. I partially blame my mood on the Hunger Games books. I was reading Catching Fire. I don't know how to put this but reading the book (don't want to give too much away) and reading large chunks at a time had this heaviness to it, like a sense of doom. I realize I need to stay away from those type of books because it's not what I need now. I did finish the series so that's done.
Chloe's fever hasn't returned, maybe it's just a fluke. She had that once this year and it's happened to Kylie too. I thought Kylie was going to be sick today because last night she fell asleep in the car and I put her in bed when we got home and she did not want to get up for anything. She slept for just over 12 hours! Guess she had some catching up to do. She rarely seems to take a nap at day care, too much going on I guess. It's hard to wake her up too. I would like to say "Mom and Dad, I am very sorry about how I acted when you would wake me up." That goes to my brother and sisters too. What goes around comes around. I see me in Kylie when she doesn't want to get up and is grumpy - that's me, totally me.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Sorry
I want to start with an apology about yesterday's note. It shouldn't matter if no one post or gives money, I hardly ever do myself on Facebook or emails, but yesterday I felt it did. I've got a lot going on right now that I can't write about. This means I should be writing in my journal but I haven't. I was feeling like I was in 3rd grade again and no one wanted to play with me or be my friend (can you see the need to be accepted coming through?). I was alone. I was feeling that way yesterday. I know I shouldn't feel that way because I know people love me and do care, I was only looking at Blog results and that shows a different story. I just feel no one wants to keep hearing about me and my life. Things have calmed down considerably since last year. I know I need to continue as part of healing - the real healing would be to read all I've written on Caring Bridge and here. I do want to give a big Thank you to those that did comment and let you know you don't have to do it again. I see you face to face or get texts and emails from you so I know you care. And no one feel obligated to give money. I had made $500 my personal goal when I signed up for the March of Dimes walk, then our work came out with an incentive package and if you reach the top ($500) you get all the perks they are giving. One is executive recognition and I thought "if we get that maybe more people will hear our story." I don't really know what the recognition is - our name on a piece of paper that the whole company sees and a letter from the CEO telling us thanks would be my guess now.
I'm putting this past in the past and moving forwarded for a brighter future. That's what I have to keep telling myself.
I want to put the focus back on the girls in my life. I said I would tell the story of a devotional I picked up and I'm ready to share. This devotional says "Faith" on the front. There were others that said "Hope" and "Love" but of course Faith spoke to me. I picked this up over a lunch hour along with a wooden painted bird I found that said "Faith" and brought it into work. The bird sits on my desk. I was showing off the Bible, New Testament with Psalms and Proverbs to our department administrator. The front page has a piece of scripture and then "Presented To...By...On the Occasion of...Data" I'm not sure what to put in there but the admin said I should put to me by Faith and that's a great idea. I felt the scripture was actually talking to me. It's says "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." Hebrews 11:1. We have a plaque that says something similar but it didn't make sense until I read this version. This is why we gave Faith her name. I remember saying "I put my trust in the Lord and I'm praying his outcome is the outcome I want as well." I thought it was too until that fateful morning of March 4 when we got the phone call from the doctor.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Should I stop?
Maybe it's just the day I'm having but I feel like I should just stop doing this blog. No one ever comments on it. Only family has given to our March of Dimes. So I guess no one cares.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
I think I know what is weighing heavy on my heart about March of Dimes.
First, this is their mission statement:
The March of Dimes Mission
To improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality. We carry out this mission through research, community services, education and advocacy to save babies' lives.
This is a good mission. I don't know how much they do on educating about birth defects, when a defect is found. As I said that might be on the doctor' shoulders.
They also give grants and our doctor in Milwaukee has benefited from these grants for his TTTS research.
This isn't what's on my heart. What's on my heart is that we have a situation where we have one beautiful baby girl and one beautiful baby angel. It's puts us in a awful place. To have the happy and sad. I feel like MOD only wants to hear the good stories and how things worked out well for all. Happy ever after. The stories posted at work are about twins born premature but are fine now, or the singleton births. I can contact someone about sharing our story and I think Joel would like to (or is okay with it) but I don't know now. As I said, I believe we had more time with Faith because of the research. But she did die. MOD does provides bereavement items and books. I think we got them at the hospital since DeVos has a MOD representative there. Who, by the way, was great.
I don't know, I feel so lost again. I did have a good talk with my counselor yesterday. I just pray I can put into action her suggestions.
In other news:
Yesterday, Kylie said to me. "Mom, something happened at school." I was immediately alert and said "What?" She's looking at her thumb nail and says "I'm broken. Next time we go to church, I'm going to tell God I'm broken." Aw, that's sweet. I said "Me too." Her thumb nail was broken a bit and I realized right now I never did cut it. I think she forgot too.
She said something else that I wanted to make sure I write down. Now I forget.
I do have to say she is calling Chloe "Buddha." I don't know where she got that from but it's "Buddha, Buddha, Buddha. Buddha Bear."
Chloe aka Buddha is such a cutie. She gets this big grin on her face when she stands all by herself. No more walking yet, but soon I'm sure.
First, this is their mission statement:
The March of Dimes Mission
To improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality. We carry out this mission through research, community services, education and advocacy to save babies' lives.
This is a good mission. I don't know how much they do on educating about birth defects, when a defect is found. As I said that might be on the doctor' shoulders.
They also give grants and our doctor in Milwaukee has benefited from these grants for his TTTS research.
This isn't what's on my heart. What's on my heart is that we have a situation where we have one beautiful baby girl and one beautiful baby angel. It's puts us in a awful place. To have the happy and sad. I feel like MOD only wants to hear the good stories and how things worked out well for all. Happy ever after. The stories posted at work are about twins born premature but are fine now, or the singleton births. I can contact someone about sharing our story and I think Joel would like to (or is okay with it) but I don't know now. As I said, I believe we had more time with Faith because of the research. But she did die. MOD does provides bereavement items and books. I think we got them at the hospital since DeVos has a MOD representative there. Who, by the way, was great.
I don't know, I feel so lost again. I did have a good talk with my counselor yesterday. I just pray I can put into action her suggestions.
In other news:
Yesterday, Kylie said to me. "Mom, something happened at school." I was immediately alert and said "What?" She's looking at her thumb nail and says "I'm broken. Next time we go to church, I'm going to tell God I'm broken." Aw, that's sweet. I said "Me too." Her thumb nail was broken a bit and I realized right now I never did cut it. I think she forgot too.
She said something else that I wanted to make sure I write down. Now I forget.
I do have to say she is calling Chloe "Buddha." I don't know where she got that from but it's "Buddha, Buddha, Buddha. Buddha Bear."
Chloe aka Buddha is such a cutie. She gets this big grin on her face when she stands all by herself. No more walking yet, but soon I'm sure.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
March of Dimes
Just wanted to let people know that Joel and I are doing the March of Dimes walk in April. We both have a goal of $500 each. I'm providing the links for those of you who would like to give. Research funded by the March of Dimes helped both girls tremendously. I don't think Faith would have lived as long as she did without the steroid to develop her lungs and the surfactant that was used right after birth to help open her lungs. Chloe benefited as well from the same things. I am disappointed that they are not doing any research with Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. Plus March of Dimes takes a neutral stance on abortion which weighs heavy on my heart. I have more praying to do in respect of March of Dimes. Maybe what needs to be done is I and others need to tell MOD that the research to find birth defects should be used to educate parents on what to expect from their child but that it's not always a straightforward case (child is born without any problems or not as severe as thought). No matter what that child will love its parents and it just wants love in return. I know this really falls on the doctors' shoulders, the education, but MOD can encourage it. I hope that makes sense.
I leave the decision to give up to you.
http://www.marchforbabies.org/LisaEmerson and
http://www.marchforbabies.org/joelemerson
I leave the decision to give up to you.
http://www.marchforbabies.org/LisaEmerson and
http://www.marchforbabies.org/joelemerson
Friday, March 30, 2012
Bathroom Fun
These are from March 19, 2012
Kylie has a nice blue tongue.
Chloe just got back from playing some tennis
Chloe's First Step
I completely forgot about Chloe taking her first step on Tuesday! She was standing up, which she likes to do a lot of lately and then she took a step toward Joel. She'll be running around by next week! Sometimes time go so quickly. I can't believe she is 14 months (or 11 months adjusted). I love her smile, it makes my day better whenever I see her smiling.
Today I have both girls at home since the day care is closed for a teacher training. I was hoping it would be nice out but it's stormy. Great day to watch Mary Poppins which we just finished with. I have some things I'd like to get from the store but hopefully I can do that later, I don't really have the energy right now, plus it will be lunch and nap soon and then at about 5 I'm going to take them to a fish fry to get fish fry to go. It's the last Friday for them as next Friday is Good Friday. Kylie love fish (breaded of course and with butter, don't ask me why she like it like that). Chloe loves the mac and cheese and applesauce that is also served with the fish. I think I'm going to try a different fish fry today, it's hard working until 5 to pick up the girls and go to the church in time for the meal. The church we usually go to serves from 4:30 to 7:00 but I'm not sure on how late others go until. I've also heard some are very popular and you want to get there early. That's why I'm going to go at 5 and just get it to go.
Joel and I are actually going on a movie date tonight. We have a popcorn bucket that expires on Sunday and we've only used it once. Plus we have coupons to use up that came with the bucket, as a Christmas gift from Joel's department. And, can you believe this, we are going to the movies tomorrow night too (hopefully if our friend can still watch Kylie and Chloe). It will be nice to have that alone time. I would love to see October Baby. I know Joel wants to see some action packed something, like Clash of the Titans or whatever. We've got two chance so I should get to pick one and he should get to pick one
Time for lunch!
Today I have both girls at home since the day care is closed for a teacher training. I was hoping it would be nice out but it's stormy. Great day to watch Mary Poppins which we just finished with. I have some things I'd like to get from the store but hopefully I can do that later, I don't really have the energy right now, plus it will be lunch and nap soon and then at about 5 I'm going to take them to a fish fry to get fish fry to go. It's the last Friday for them as next Friday is Good Friday. Kylie love fish (breaded of course and with butter, don't ask me why she like it like that). Chloe loves the mac and cheese and applesauce that is also served with the fish. I think I'm going to try a different fish fry today, it's hard working until 5 to pick up the girls and go to the church in time for the meal. The church we usually go to serves from 4:30 to 7:00 but I'm not sure on how late others go until. I've also heard some are very popular and you want to get there early. That's why I'm going to go at 5 and just get it to go.
Joel and I are actually going on a movie date tonight. We have a popcorn bucket that expires on Sunday and we've only used it once. Plus we have coupons to use up that came with the bucket, as a Christmas gift from Joel's department. And, can you believe this, we are going to the movies tomorrow night too (hopefully if our friend can still watch Kylie and Chloe). It will be nice to have that alone time. I would love to see October Baby. I know Joel wants to see some action packed something, like Clash of the Titans or whatever. We've got two chance so I should get to pick one and he should get to pick one
Time for lunch!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Slacker
I am a slacker, but not really. I've been busy doing other things except typing on the blog. There's so much to keep up on at home and at work. Why don't I have any time to sit and relax?
It's hard, trying not to rush time. I think "why the girls are older, they can be doing whatever and I will have time to me again." I might be fooling myself, but that is what I think. Then I realize I shouldn't think that way and I should enjoy the 'now.'
I'm just not feeling normal, like the weather I guess. How can I get out of my funk? I have an idea but I don't know.
I've got to tell the story of a new devotional bible I bought at the Christian bookstore but I will do that another time.
This was from last Monday, the 19th:
It's been so nice out, we've been trying to be outside as much as we can. We've gone to the park a few times last week. Saturday was St. Patrick's Day so we went to the parade downtown. Kylie got some candy and was a bit disappointed she didn't get a green necklace, but she was next to another little girl named Kylie. That was interesting because I would hear the grandma say "look that Kylie only took one piece of candy." The other Kylie was probably 6. Sunday Joel did a lot of yard work and Kylie and I did some in the backyard but it's hard to do a lot when there's a Chloe Bear around. I did take Kylie to Wilcox Park after dinner. That park is a bit further away from our house but has a bit nicer equipment to play on.
This morning had some excitement in it. Joel and I had driven separately because he was going to work late. I was taking the girls to day care and Joel called. He had a flat tire. Well I was at a point on the road where I was able to swing onto the highway and around to give him the van jack as the car one was rusted. Once Joel got the spare on I had to follow him to a park n ride just down the rode and then take him to work. I dropped him off and then dropped the girls off. I got to work by 9 so not too bad, I easily made up the time. After work I had to take the tire to Sam's and they fixed it and then we went and picked Joel up from
It's hard, trying not to rush time. I think "why the girls are older, they can be doing whatever and I will have time to me again." I might be fooling myself, but that is what I think. Then I realize I shouldn't think that way and I should enjoy the 'now.'
I'm just not feeling normal, like the weather I guess. How can I get out of my funk? I have an idea but I don't know.
I've got to tell the story of a new devotional bible I bought at the Christian bookstore but I will do that another time.
This was from last Monday, the 19th:
It's been so nice out, we've been trying to be outside as much as we can. We've gone to the park a few times last week. Saturday was St. Patrick's Day so we went to the parade downtown. Kylie got some candy and was a bit disappointed she didn't get a green necklace, but she was next to another little girl named Kylie. That was interesting because I would hear the grandma say "look that Kylie only took one piece of candy." The other Kylie was probably 6. Sunday Joel did a lot of yard work and Kylie and I did some in the backyard but it's hard to do a lot when there's a Chloe Bear around. I did take Kylie to Wilcox Park after dinner. That park is a bit further away from our house but has a bit nicer equipment to play on.
This morning had some excitement in it. Joel and I had driven separately because he was going to work late. I was taking the girls to day care and Joel called. He had a flat tire. Well I was at a point on the road where I was able to swing onto the highway and around to give him the van jack as the car one was rusted. Once Joel got the spare on I had to follow him to a park n ride just down the rode and then take him to work. I dropped him off and then dropped the girls off. I got to work by 9 so not too bad, I easily made up the time. After work I had to take the tire to Sam's and they fixed it and then we went and picked Joel up from
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Out of Office
I was out of the office today because Chloe woke up with a fever. 102.4. Not sure what exactly is going on so I took her to Urgent Care as her doctor was out today. I thought ear infection, which the NP said the right ear is a little pink so we'll have to watch it in the next day or so. I think she is teething too. Her fever went down when I gave her Tylenol and hasn't returned so that is good news. It looks like I'll be working Friday to make up for today. It's okay though. I had lots of fun hanging with my Chloe Bear. She is so fun to watch and play with.
I'm hoping we might still be able to go for a walk since it is so nice outside. Feels strange having the windows open on March 14. Hopefully Chloe isn't sick because of the flux in the weather.
Sunday we had fun at Craig's Cruisers. Kylie got to see all her friends from her old school (the one that closed). It's so fun to watch how she wanted to be by Caydence her BFF. : ) Too cute. Kylie did have an accident though. She got to drive a little race car (John Deere, my dad and brother in law would be proud). Well, she put her foot on the gas and kept going straight. This is a track, so she is suppose to turn and she didn't. BOOM! Right into the side rail and a tire bounced off. She started to cry and want out, so the worker got her out and handed her to Joel. She was good after a few minutes and she only got a small mark on her neck from the seat belt. I wondered if she didn't realize she had to turn because she rode with Joel earlier in a car where she also had a steering wheel so maybe she thought she was steering good enough. At least she's okay. Because it was her birthday, she could spin the Birthday Wheel and win a prize. She won a family four pack to use before June something. She had a blast there and now we can go back. We would have to go back anyway because we still have some tickets to use up.
As for myself. I'm so so. I stopped seeing my counselor last December but I'm thinking I need to start again. Just to help talk about things. Joel says I can talk to him but when I do he doesn't get it and he won't because he's not a woman. We are wired differently. Men are from Mars. I don't think I do the best explaining myself either but I try and will keep trying. This isn't all the time, just sometimes.
Right now, Kylie would be very mad at Chloe as Chloe is playing with Kylie's tea set from Grandma up North. It's so cute how she bangs the plates together and uses the utensils like real ones. Now she's off to look out the window. That is me, I love to just look out the window or sit on the porch and take it all in.
I'm hoping we might still be able to go for a walk since it is so nice outside. Feels strange having the windows open on March 14. Hopefully Chloe isn't sick because of the flux in the weather.
Sunday we had fun at Craig's Cruisers. Kylie got to see all her friends from her old school (the one that closed). It's so fun to watch how she wanted to be by Caydence her BFF. : ) Too cute. Kylie did have an accident though. She got to drive a little race car (John Deere, my dad and brother in law would be proud). Well, she put her foot on the gas and kept going straight. This is a track, so she is suppose to turn and she didn't. BOOM! Right into the side rail and a tire bounced off. She started to cry and want out, so the worker got her out and handed her to Joel. She was good after a few minutes and she only got a small mark on her neck from the seat belt. I wondered if she didn't realize she had to turn because she rode with Joel earlier in a car where she also had a steering wheel so maybe she thought she was steering good enough. At least she's okay. Because it was her birthday, she could spin the Birthday Wheel and win a prize. She won a family four pack to use before June something. She had a blast there and now we can go back. We would have to go back anyway because we still have some tickets to use up.
As for myself. I'm so so. I stopped seeing my counselor last December but I'm thinking I need to start again. Just to help talk about things. Joel says I can talk to him but when I do he doesn't get it and he won't because he's not a woman. We are wired differently. Men are from Mars. I don't think I do the best explaining myself either but I try and will keep trying. This isn't all the time, just sometimes.
Right now, Kylie would be very mad at Chloe as Chloe is playing with Kylie's tea set from Grandma up North. It's so cute how she bangs the plates together and uses the utensils like real ones. Now she's off to look out the window. That is me, I love to just look out the window or sit on the porch and take it all in.
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