I am going crazy. I'm not so crazy at home when I'm with Chloe but when I'm not with her, I can't help but worry, worry, worry. We know she has an ear infection and she's taking stuff for that. Last Friday she had her 1 year well child appointment. She needed 5 immunizations. I feel like I should have split those up now. She went home early from day care because she was running a temperature there. I think it was because of those shots as a few of the information sheets said fever can be a side effect.
I was gone this weekend at a scrapbook B&B. It was great, I had a wonderful time. My group was actually the first one this couple hosted. If I didn't know that, I wouldn't have guessed it, they did a wonderful job. We all loved the valet service provided. They would get out the quad with a small wagon and put all our stuff in and go around the house to unload as everything is in the basement. The food was good, it's already a plus when I don't have to cook. Saturday night we had these to die for desserts, gooey brownie a la mode right from the oven - yum.
I didn't want to be depressed while scrapping (if I worked on baby books) so I decided to work on a book from our recent Arizona trip. I thought I would be able to get the whole thing done, but I'm not that fast. I had to decided which pictures to put in the book and how the pages will look. I learned how to use a Cricut, which comes in handy as I received one for Christmas, the same exact one at this B&B. If I had gotten the trip done I still had some Kylie pages to do from 2 years ago.
But while I was scrapping, I was worried about Chloe. She worries me more because I don't know if she's normal. With preemies, you have to be on higher alert it seems. Maybe that's when they've had breathing issues or other problems. I don't know. I hope she's a normal child like Kylie. I wouldn't worry about Kylie so much if she was the one sick. Kylie has had high fevers that would just go away in a couple of days, very strange. I hope that will be Chloe. I remember a Caring Bridge post awhile ago that I mentioned a Bible verse about Jesus saying "Don't worry about tomorrow." It's in our nature to worry. I pray to God and say "God, I hope I'm doing the right thing for Chloe, please protect her and keep her safe." I know what's going on when I'm with her. My minds thinks bad things when I'm not with her - even if Joel is watching her. I offered to stay home all day today to monitor her myself even though Joel is working late this week and has taken care of her in the morning and then brings her to work and we do a switch a roo and I take her home.
That's why I feel like I need some medication to calm my anxiety. I don't want to take medication and I actually haven't (it's hard to believe I know). I can really understand why some people need to, you'd go crazy. I feel so out of it sometimes, like I don't know what I'm suppose to be doing. (Don't tell my work that.)
I also have to share my Valentine's present from Joel. Chocolate covered strawberries he made himself and he added a pink coating to them as well. This is very sweet and funny because last night we both discovered that we would be doing the same thing for each other because he saw the strawberries I bought (his were in the downstairs refrigerator so I didn't see them). I did the same for him but I did only chocolate and add cinnamon and cayenne pepper to it to a a little bit. It's like Mayan chocolate and it's so good.
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